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Despair tightens my throat, choking the life from me. This time the hands cannot stop me from plunging back into the darkness. I swim happily in its depths, where there are no lies, no broken promises, and no memories.
Chapter 13
Cassian
Five Months Later
“Land,ho!”adeckhandshouts from the crow’s nest, and I quickly set down my cup of tea and jog out of my cabin. Seamen stream past me, eager to see land after so many months at sea. Someone hands me a telescope and points into the distance.
Ignoring the shouts of elation around me, I peer through the scope, greedily searching for land.There.I can just make out steep mountains rising from the water, and my heart thuds in my chest.
So close. Excitement bursts through my veins, making my head swim. Passing the telescope to one of the crew, a smile stretching wide across my face, I join in the cheers for the captain. One man pulls out a fiddle, and some of the men link arms, dancing in joy. Another uses an axe to open a keg of ale, and the cheers grow louder as mugs are thrust under the golden stream.
Taking mine over to the railing, I lean over, my eyes trained on the islands in the distance. My thoughts turn to Snow White, as they so often do. Lately, I have been having dreams of her, most of them disturbing. I do not know whether they are a figment of my sleeping mind’s imagination, or if there is some truth behind them. Visions of her encased in darkness, screaming, fighting unknown assailants. Others of her staring blankly at the ceiling, the rise and fall of her chest the only sign of life.
Gods, I miss her. She was my constant companion for most of my life. The one person I could truly be myself with, the one who knew my secrets and didn’t judge. It’s been a little over two-and-a-half years since I left her. She’ll be seventeen soon, almost a woman grown. She won’t be the child I left behind, just as I am no longer the starry-eyed youth I once was.
I cannot help but wonder how she has changed, how she is still the same. Will she hate me for leaving her? For abandoning her when she needed me most? My jaw ticks at the thought. I can’t blame her if she does.
Over the past few years, I have agonized over the decision. I’ve replayed what my father told me, the things Beast said to me. Their insistence that I grow up and find a way to get help was valid. Older and wiser now, I understand that. But could I have not brought her with me? Snow could have healed from her wounds in Granton. She would have been safe from her father and the queen. She could have grown up in peace, and I could have been at her side if she needed me.
If there is any validity to the dreams I’m having, then Snow White is no longer the girl I once knew. The dreams are filled with pain, terror, and confusion. Some of the more recent ones seem to indicate that she is lost within herself.
Logically, I know I could not have taken her with me, for the simple fact I would never have gotten her out of the palace alive, not once she was in the dungeon. With many of the huntsmen under Morana’s spell, the guards posted outside, and the blasted raven spies everywhere, we wouldn’t have stood a chance. Even if we had made it out, it wouldn’t have been long before the ravens found us.
It destroys me to know I couldn’t help her then, that I could do nothing but sit idly by while she was raped and abused. My eyes narrow at the vast expanse of sea, and I hurl my mug into the waves. It hits the water with a splash, and I vow then and there that once we’re together, no one will ever lay a finger on her again.
Not if they want to keep breathing.
Thecaptainpullsupto the jetty on the morning of Snow White’s birthday. The sun has just freed itself from the horizon, the calm sea reflecting the pinks and golds of the sunrise. Seagulls scream overhead, diving into the water in search of their breakfast.
The crewmen moor the Jolly Roger, tossing the anchor into the sea before throwing a ramp down so we might disembark. I eagerly jog down the ramp on shaky sea legs and make my way off the jetty, nearly falling to my knees in gratitude on the rocky beach. After months at sea, it’s a relief to be on solid ground again. A hand claps me on the back and I nearly go sprawling. A flash of silver catches my eye, and I spin around, meeting Captain Hook’s amused gaze.
“Good to be on land again, aye?” the ostentatious pirate says, grinning at me.
“Aye,” I reply, trying to ignore the ridiculously large feather bouncing in the oversized tricorn hat Hook seems to favor.
A shout from the ship catches the captain’s attention, and I take the opportunity to look around. Beast had warned me that the Forbidden Isles were desolate. The expansive beach stretches around the cove where we docked, which is shaped much like a horseshoe. Jagged granite mountains stretch into the sky, the tops blurred into the low-lying clouds. At the base of the mountains is a small village—if “village” is indeed the correct word for the tiny settlement.
A white lighthouse presides over it all, standing tall and proud at the edge of a cliff on the left of the horseshoe. At its base is a large inn, a blacksmith’s smithy to its right. A few small stone houses with thatched roofs are dotted here and there, a couple of scraggly trees between them. On the right-hand side of the horseshoe are market stalls. I cannot see from here, but the scent of freshly baked bread competes with the salty scent of the sea, and my stomach rumbles loudly, reminding me that I have not yet broken my fast.
There is nothing else. Why anyone would choose to live in such a place astonishes me. I could not live without the soft grass beneath my feet, the sound of the winds singing amongst the trees. A stab of homesickness pierces my heart and steadies my resolve. I will find this oracle and then return to Valderán, rescue Snow White, and somehow, defeat Morana and save the kingdom.
Easy, right?
Sweatpoursfrommybrow, stinging my eyes. I wipe it away irritably, then swing my arm back, slamming the axe into the cliffside.Don’t look down.My feet scramble against the loose pebbles, threatening to send me careening to the bottom. As I’m currently about two hundred feet up, that wouldn’t be ideal.
It’s been six weeks since I left the captain and crew behind in the village. Captain Hook assured me they would await my return, and I must take him at his word. I’m not sure he realized just how long my journey would take, even if the innkeeper warned me of it.
We had been sitting near the fire, drinking ale and playing dice when the owner of the establishment approached me. He had overheard I had been summoned by the Oracle and pulled me aside.
“The way to the Oracle is treacherous, lad. There be nothing but sharp cliffs and jagged rocks, ready to tear into an unsuspecting man. Magic behaves oddly here, some spells going awry.”
I thought of my inner beast, and the corner of my mouth lifted in a smile. I was planning on shifting as soon as I was out of sight of the village and flying the rest of the way. “Thank you for the warning, good sir. I have no magic to speak of, so will be quite all right.”
The portly innkeeper’s gaze sharpened. I hesitated when it seemed he was peering into my soul. “It is not only magic that behaves strangely here,” he muttered just loudly enough for me to hear. I stiffened, searching his eyes. Was it possible he knew my secret, or did he speculate? I had returned to the table, uneasiness settling in my gut like a bad omen.
A second omen came the following day. I was purchasing bread, cheese, and various types of dried meats from the small marketplace when an elderly lady approached me. Her gnarled fingers held on to my sleeve with a strength that belied her years. Her eyes were a faded blue, her silvery-white hair plaited into a long braid trailing down her back.
