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My mother had once told me that the eyes never lied. The eyes always exposed you because they were the window to your truth.
I didn’t know how to feel or what to do. I wanted to tell him that I loved him too. That he was it for me as well. But the looming threat of Mrs. Farrington still plagued my mind.
I knew Gabriel said he would handle it but I couldn’t place that burden on him. This was his family we were talking about. It was a dynasty that stretched back many generations. This was also the same family that Michael was in. I couldn’t risk friction for him because of me. It wouldn’t be fair to him.
I thought back to the moment he had called me ‘mama’. I had been so shocked I hadn’t known how to properly react. I had felt a flurry of emotions at that moment. But no matter how good it felt for him to look at me like his mom, I couldn’t take that place. Not when his mother was very much alive and well.
I had stared at the pictures for what felt like hours on end. I didn’t know what I was going to do.
My mother was a slave to the drugs. Had she done a lot of messed up shit? Yes, but she was also my mom. She just fell into an unfortunate situation when she was at her most vulnerable. I couldn’t abandon her. Not when she had no one else by her side.
And then there was the threat against my friends. Ava had been working months towards her grant. Mrs. Farrington had made it clear that she was ready to tackle whoever stood in her way. I needed to protect the people I loved.
But what about Gabriel?
That little voice in the back of my mind would not let up.
Gabriel was the first man that I could say I truly loved. He brought a new light into my life and made me feel whole again. But choosing him meant screwing over my mother and friends. I couldn’t do that.
I bounced Michael in my lap as we waited to be seen by the doctor. It was time for his yearly checkup and shots. We waited in a private room for the Farrington’s private doctor.Nothing like the doctor visits I remember as a child, waiting in a room full of sick screaming kids.
Michael sat silently on my lap as he watched his show on my phone.
I kissed his head and breathed in his scent. How was it possible I could love a child that wasn’t mine so much. I would give up my life for this tiny little human in a heartbeat.
I knew that my time to say goodbye would come but for now I would enjoy these little moments.
The door to our room opened and the doctor walked in. She had a bright smile on her face and wore formal attire with a white lab coat.
“Good morning,” she smiled looking at me and then to Michael. “How is this little guy doing today?”
“Morning Dr. Harper. Little guy is doing great. How are you?”
“I’m doing well, thank you. Shall I take a look at him?” She walked over to the examination table and I got up with Michael and followed her.
She got to work looking over Michael.
You would think he would be fussy but he was such a good boy. He held onto my finger the entire time and watched me as the doctor worked his little muscles.
I felt a sudden wave of nausea hit me and I had to brace myself against the bed for a moment.
“Are you okay, Brianna?” Dr Harper looked at me concerned.
I closed my eyes trying to center myself. When I opened my eyes I nodded and looked at her. “I’ve just been feeling a bit nauseous of late. Lots of stress going on at the moment. Or maybe it’s a stomach bug.” I say as I wave my hand to indicate it’s nothing I can’t handle.
She eyed me for a moment and then looked down at my chest and then back up to my eyes again. “Have you felt overly tired lately? Are your breasts feeling a little more tender than normal?”
I nodded my head slowly. “I just thought that maybe it was my period coming in.”
“When was your last period?”
I shook my head as soon as I realized what she was getting at. “No, there is no way that I can be pregnant. I’m on the pill and I take it religiously.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
“I think we should do a quick test, just to rule it out. Better to know now.”
