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After a little more talk about the fencing match, during which Edmund left out their conversation about Andrew’s upcoming marriage, the couple turned to talk of the child they were expecting. Andrew was happy to sit in comfortable silence and let the two tease one another about the various aspects of impending parenthood.
“My strapping boy will have the finest instructors in all of London,” he said, giving Andrew a sly smirk. “Including for fencing.”
Gemma laughed.
“And what if it is a girl?” she asked. “You cannot be so sure it will be a boy.”
Edmund shook his head, trying to look defiant. But there was a sparkle in his eye as Gemma pointed out that his son might actually be a daughter.
“Preposterous,” he teased. “However, if it is a girl, she will have the most skilled music tutors and the best dance teachers in England.”
Andrew watched the way the couple behaved with one another with wonder. Even a blind man could have seen how much they loved one another. A sudden wave of jealousy washed over him. The happiness between his sister and brother-in-law filled their entire home.
What they had was something he had vowed never to seek. But watching them suddenly filled him with a longing he had never expected to experience. He suddenly wished more than anything that he could have that kind of love, too.
Chapter Twenty-four
“Oh, Sally,” Rowena said, rummaging through all her brand-new dresses and not finding one she wished to wear. “Will I ever make it to this picnic in time?”
Her maid stopped her searching by patting her mistress gently on the back.
“Don’t fret, Miss Whitworth,” she said softly. “I believe you are worrying far more than you need to.”
Rowena sighed, glancing over at her bedside table where Andrew’s letter from the day before lay. He had invited her to a picnic by the Thames, at his sister’s request. At first, the idea had delighted her. However, the letter also informed her that Andrew’s mother, the Dowager Baroness Elsbrook, would be in attendance, which turned Rowena into a bundle of nerves.
“It could not be clearer that she hates me, Sally,” Rowena moaned.
Sally looked confused.
“Lady Spenshire?” she asked.
Rowena shook her head. She took a deep breath. Her mind was racing faster than her mouth could speak. She forced herself to slow down before she spoke again.
“The dowager,” she said. “I have been known as a spinster within thetonfor quite some time. But never have I felt as unwelcomed and unwanted as I did in the presence of Lady Elsbrook at the opera. And she cut me at Gunters. Today can be nothing but a disaster. And I don’t have anything to wear!”
Sally giggled, instantly stifling it, but it made Rowena realize how frantic and silly she sounded. Soon, she too mustered a giggle.
“Miss,” Sally said a moment later, brushing a strand of freshly styled hair out of Rowena’s face. “I understand how overwhelming all this must be. But you mustn’t let a woman who doesn’t even know you upset you. People will think whatever they wish to think, and there is nothing you can do about it. All you can do is be yourself and prove to these people that you deserve happiness and respect, just as they do.”
Rowena took a deep breath and thought about what her friend had said. Even though hers was only a marriage of convenience, shedidindeed deserve to feel comfortable in her own skin. Besides, if the dowager made her feel too awkward, she was sure she could take a short walk with Sally and escape the woman’s scrutiny.
“You are right,” she said, hugging the maid. “Which one should I wear?”
Eventually, she and Sally decided on a deep-blue satin dress with a light blue lace ribbon trim. Sally helped her into the dress, which Rowena wore with matching gloves and shoes. She also put on the sapphire earrings she had bought specifically for the dress. Still, even as Sally finished helping her get ready, she couldn’t shake feeling of dread. What if Andrew’s mother was so cruel that Rowena made a fool of herself by bursting into tears or something equally awful?
Just as Sally stepped back to admire her work, Benji came rushing up to her. He gazed up at her with his big brown eyes, melting Rowena’s heart, and her woes, instantly.
“Hello, darling,” she said, stooping to pick up her puppy.
Sally scoffed, stopping Rowena before she could touch the dog.
“Absolutely not,” she scolded, shaking her head. “I cannot have you ruining your dress.”
Rowena stared at Sally for a moment before laughing.
“Of course,” she said, giggling. “You are right. Forgive me.”
Sally held up her chin, giving Rowena a stern look. She was well aware that Rowena would sacrifice even her nicest dress to cuddle with Benji. Still, Rowena knew her maid was right. There could be no grubby pawmarks on her dress this afternoon. Instead of picking up the dog, she reached down delicately and gave him a generous scratch on the neck and behind the ears.
