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“Oh, Gemma,” she breathed, putting her other hand on her chest. “That is such a beautiful thing. I have never felt a kicking baby before.”
Gemma nodded, her cheeks flushing proudly.
“I cannot wait to feel the kicking as I drift off to sleep,” she said.
Rowena’s eyes widened.
“Does it hurt?” she asked.
Gemma laughed and shook her head.
“I do not think so,” she said. “Mother says it can be a bit uncomfortable at times, though. I just cannot wait for him or her to get here.”
Andrew listened to the exchange, but he couldn’t muster the same enthusiasm. He was happy to be welcoming a nephew. But it brought to mind thoughts of him having his own children. And, even then, he could not bring himself to fathom it. He pretended to be very intrigued by the treats spread out before him, although he no longer had any appetite because of the fuss over the baby.
Before he removed his attention from the women, however, he caught one more glimpse of Rowena’s face. She looked as excited as Gemma. It was obvious to Andrew, by the way she was behaving and reacting to the movements of the unborn child, that she also wished to be a mother.
It felt as if a cold vice tightened around his heart as he tried, and failed, to ignore the two women’s excited chatter. He had told Rowena that she could have whatever she desired from him if she married him. Even though he had told her that he would never be seeking heirs, he could hear the longing in her voice to join Gemma in motherhood. Children were, and always would be, the one thing he could never give her.
Wish that this picnic would just end,he thought, all his previous delight with the day and the company dissolving. He felt only slightly guilty for wanting to escape from his sister so quickly. The longer he sat there, listening to everyone rave about the unborn baby, the more uneasy he felt. He had never imagined that his decision not to have children could bring him so much discomfort.
Benji’s shrill bark silenced everyone present and distracted Andrew from his brooding. Rowena gave a sweet laugh, reaching for the dog. He had crawled from her lap, and he was barking at something upriver, toward the bridge. But he would not go to Rowena. He was slowly stepping forward, and suddenly, Andrew imagined the dog taking off, just as he had previously at the park. It was then that an idea rapidly formed in his mind.
“Might I walk Benji?” he asked. He tried not to sound too eager, but his request still caught Rowena off guard. She looked at him with inquisitive eyes.
“You really wish to?” she asked.
Andrew did his best to pretend he wasn’t secretly thinking to himself that he could not bear one more moment of baby chatter, gazing as fondly as he could manage down at the barking dog and nodding.
“I do,” he said. “I think it would be good for us to spend some time together, get to know each other better.”
The others chuckled, while Rowena looked at him almost disbelievingly.
“Well, certainly,” she said, handing him Benji’s leash. “I don’t mind. And I’m sure Benji would love it.” She turned to her maid and smiled again. “Would you escort us?”
Andrew opened his mouth to protest. He’d wanted time alone, to clear his mind and not feel as though he was being watched. But he knew that any rejection of Sally and her coming along would likely raise Rowena’s suspicions further. So, he simply took the leash and leapt to his feet.
Doing as he had watched Rowena do, he knelt on one knee and patted the dog gently, whistling.
“Benji,” he said cheerfully. “Come on, boy. Let’s go for a walk.”
The dog ignored both his name and the word ‘boy’. Walk, however, got his attention immediately. He turned and ran over to Andrew, showing no hesitation at the idea of walking with him. Andrew scratched his ears before standing once more. He helped Rowena to her feet, then smiled at Gemma and Edmund.
“We shall return,” he called brightly over his shoulder.
“Enjoy your walk, Brother,” Gemma said sweetly.
Sally followed several feet behind as Rowena and Andrew walked along the bank arm in arm in silence. Andrew was still struggling with his previous thoughts, but he didn’t want Rowena to see it. He wished she had stayed behind with Gemma and Edmund. Though he couldn’t help thinking that, if not for his inner turmoil, he would have been delighted at the chance to spend some time alone with her.
“I really like Gemma,” Rowena said, breaking the silence.
Andrew gave her a small smile.
“I can tell,” he said. “It seems the two of you are getting on famously.”
Rowena’s smile widened.
“I love talking to her,” she said. “She reminds me of my sisters. I think that she and I will become the best of friends.” She paused, blushing. “Oh, I hope I am not getting too far ahead of myself.”
