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Maxim, Adrian, and James get up to join them, but the rest of us stay put. Their continuing banter rings out as they walk down to the water, playfully shoving at each other as they go.
“It’s good to see them like this again,” Isabella says wistfully. “Everyone’s been so stressed these last few months.”
“Yep.” I agree, but now that the distraction is gone, my mind is wandering back to Vincent and what the hell has been going on with him. Another sigh slides out of me, and Isabella turns on her side to give me a puzzled look.
“It’s been hard on you, huh? Being hotel-bound all the time?”
“Nah.” I shrug, tipping my face toward the sun once I’ve scooted far enough down on my lounge chair that not only my legs are tanning anymore. “It’s better this way. It’s safer, and considering that I’m only on this tour because of work, it’s good that I have so much more time to get things done. Knowing I’m missing out on some incredible destinations sucks, but I’m used to it.”
She makes a disbelieving noise at the back of her throat. “You know you don’t have to put on a brave face for me. I already know you’re tough as nails. Showing some emotion isn’t going to change that. I also know that whatever you were doing when you started going out with everyone was making you happy, and I know you’re not happy anymore.”
“I am happy,” I protest, and even Emma snorts.
I jump a little, having forgotten that she was still lying under the pergola next to us. Making a show of rolling my eyes at both of them, I shake my head. “I’ve just had a lot going on, and it’s frustrating me that I can’t get a lead on the stalker. I guess I just feel like we have to be missing something.”
Emma frowns slightly as she lifts her sunglasses to sweep her gaze across my face. “No, that’s not it. I’m sure all of that is true, but there’s also something else going on with you. You look sad, Livvy. Want to talk about it?”
Isabella jumps on the bandwagon so fast it makes my head spin. She looks past me, right at Emma, her eyes wide as she nods her agreement. “She does look sad. She’s been looking sad all week. At first, I thought it was because Vincent made a run for it in Zurich, but then they got him back safe and sound, and she’s still sad.”
“Getting him back safe and sound doesn’t change the fact that he disappeared on my watch,” I argue. “So yes. I am sad. Sad that I was negligent in my duties and sad that he could’ve gotten hurt because of it.”
“You weren’t negligent,” Isabella says firmly. “He told you he had a meeting, for God’s sake. He lied to you. Besides, he’s not a toddler. Vincent knew what the consequences of his actions would be, and he did what he did anyway. You can’t take responsibility for that. He intentionally misled you, and that’s not on you.”
“That,” Emma says, snapping her fingers as she nods. “That’sthe person you should be listening to, not yourself. None of what happened was your fault, and although he was an ass for lying and leaving, if you really think about it, nothing happened. Vincent got drunk, which wasn’t exactly a surprise to anyone. The only thing that was a surprise was how long it took him to do it.”
As she looks back at me, I swear there’s just something in her eyes that tells me she knows exactly why it took him so long and maybe even what’s going on with him now. I cock my head at her, and in return, she gives me an almost imperceptible nod.So she does know.
“You should go talk to him,” she says gently, then glances at Isabella before looking back at me. “It looked like you two were finally becoming friends before he took off, so go talk to him. Maybe it’ll help to get it all off your chest.”
Isabella nods and then shrieks when Mason sneaks up behind her and dumps the last bit of his ice water down her back.
He laughs, rocking back on his heels. “It looked like you needed to cool down. That conversation was getting way too intense, even from a distance.”
She glowers at him, getting up slowly and giving him a look that says he’s going to pay for this. “You little shit! I wasn’t even the one getting intense.”
He shrugs but then takes off at a run when she lunges at him.
Emma chuckles as she watches them go and slides her sunglasses back down over her eyes. “You know, I still have to pinch myself sometimes when I look at all of you and realize you’re my family now. I’m so lucky to have found the love of my life and such a great group of people to belong to.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” I muse. “I often wonder what would’ve happened if my parents hadn’t adopted me or if I hadn’t been adopted at all.”
“As someone who spent most of my childhood in the system, I’ve got a pretty good idea of what your life would’ve been like,” she says softly. “I know you’re afraid, Liv. Vincent is… Well, he’s Vincent. No one really ever knows what’s going on in his head, but he’s a good guy. It felt like he was turning a page for a while there, and I know it was because of you. Go talk to him. I promise you’ll feel better once you do.”
“How did you know?” I ask.
She shrugs. “He told Maxim, and that boy tells me everything these days. Thank God. Trust me, you don’t want to look back and realize how much time you wasted. I regret the time Maxim and I wasted every day. If we’d just been honest with each other earlier… I nearly married someone else. That thought kills me, but I let fear hold me back. Don’t make the same mistake.”
“Sure, but Maxim was your best friend. Vincent and I… It’s different. We’re not used to talking to each other about stuff. I don’t know what he told Maxim, but he clearly doesn’t want to talk to me.”
“You’ll never know until you try,” she urges. “Just go try. Talk to him. Ask him what you need to know. You’re right that Maxim was my best friend and that we were used to talking to each other about stuff, but notthisstuff. I also stood to lose my best friend, my rock, if anything went wrong. I know it’s not easy, but just go. You might be surprised by what he has to say.”
I exhale through my nostrils, sitting up and drawing my knees to my chest, looking out at the ocean because it’s so much easier than looking at her. “You really think so? Because I don’t. He effectively ghosted me, Emma. As well as he could under the circumstances anyway. That morning in Zurich, everything was fine, and then it wasn’t. He hasn’t spoken to me since. He’s barely even looked at me, and maybe he’s right. Maybe what happened only happened because he was bored being inside and he realized it was going too far. If that’s true, then he’s right. I don’t even want to think about how I’d have been feeling if it’d gone any further and then he went and did this.”
“Putting your heart on the line will always be one of the most difficult things a person can do. Sometimes, when we’re lucky, it’s worth it, though.” She pauses for a beat. “All the moms are at the spa today. The others are in the water, and I think Ashley and Jaylinn are playing mini golf. You’re in the clear, and there’s no time like the present.”
My heart climbs into my throat when I just think about going to speak to him, but as I watch the guys and Isabella splashing around in the sparkling water and hear their shrieks of laughter on the breeze, I realize she’s right. If I wasn’t moping around, I could be having fun with them. We’re in one of the most stunning locations we’ve ever been to, and we’ve only just arrived. I can spend the rest of my time here working and wondering what might’ve been while everyone else is on vacation, or I can grow a pair and go find out.
And when I think about it like that, there really isn’t actually even a choice. I’m not a moper. I’m a doer, and even though I wasn’t planning on my heart getting involved, it has. In a way it never has before.
