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The hand around my throat does something to me, I go limp. Recognizing it, Milos begins fucking my throat just as rough as he warned me he would. Deep down I feel like I should be ashamed I’m glorying in the way Milos is using me, but I’m not. I love that I’m giving him pleasure. He didn’t ask for this, he even refused it. What kind of man refuses a blow job, for fuck’s sake? I am his slut, only his.
“I’m coming,” he growls.
He’s so far down my throat I taste nothing, but remember to swallow the way he told me. His breath catches as I do. The hand around my throat gentles, then he strokes a finger down from my chin to where my heart is pounding at the base of my neck.
As he pulls out I close my mouth and suck. A hiss comes out of him. Stomach flipping, I take in how thick and long he is even soft.
Air leaves him in a flutter of movement. I watch transfixed as he tucks himself back into his boxers and fastens his pants. He’s back to the poised, controlled Milos as if it never happened. Did I do it wrong? He picks me up and puts me back on the bed.
A large hand cups my cheek, forcing me to meet his eyes. “Thank you,kotyonok. You gave me pleasure like no other, pushed me to lose control. I want to apologize. In the heat of the moment I should not have called you a slut.”
Wait?Thatwas a loss of control? It didn’t seem like it to me at all, yet his apology is sincere.
“It is a common fantasy for us men with fragile egos that a woman is open, willing, a slut if you will—for us alone. In truth it’s bullshit. A woman has every right to find pleasure as she wishes with whoever she finds to give it to her.” His thumb swipes over my lips.“Krome vas.”
I’m dying to tell him I’m not sorry he called me a slut, but does that make it worse? Because itisonly for him. Then I lose all train of thought when he steps close, his arms are around me as he undoes the belt. The air in my lungs is frozen at how badly I want to press into him.
Stepping back, his smile is knowing. Searching for a way to hide from what he’s doing to me all over again, it hits me again. “Why don’t you allow women to touch you? And theyneverget to touch you?”
That eyebrow goes up as he snakes the belt back around his waist. “Because I fuck. Women are in my bed for my pleasure alone. I will always ensure they come—I am not a complete asshole. They deserve pleasure as well. However at the end, it is the end. I do not want them thinking I will call them again.”
“But you have called women again. There were a few women you went to events with more than once.” The words fly out of my mouth. Okay, yes, I looked at every photo I could find of him.
A small nod of concession. “Never in a row, never more than three times, and I never changed the rules of no touching and only fucking them from behind.”
I’m confused. I don’t understand.
“I do not want to look them in the eye. I do not kiss them. I do not eat them out. I do not want to hold them when it is over. I come, pull out and leave them.” A shoulder lifts. “Or once they can walk again they leave.”
“But you wouldn’t let me close my eyes and you said…” I mumble, hating the way my chest tightens at the thought of him with nameless women. I can’t bring myself to repeat what he said as he ran his finger over me, slick for him.
Both hands capture my face, tipping my eyes up to him. “Because the moment I met you I could not get enough of your beautiful eyes. And I have never wanted to taste a woman—both your mouth and your cunt—as badly as I want to taste you.”
Air is trapped in my lungs at what he could mean. Slowly he lowers his head. His phone ringing startles me in the quiet.No, I want to moan when he lets me go and pulls his phone from his pocket.
“What?”
The Russian that floods out of the phone is harsh and loud. Listening, he grunts.“V puti.”
Ending the call, he steps closer. “I have to go. I might not be back tonight for dinner. However, I will come home. If you need anything, you call me and you use the button for anything else.”
I nod at the order. A large hand catches the back of my neck, he leans down and presses his lips to mine. A gasp of surprise sends them open. Milos takes advantage, slipping fleetingly inside to taste my tongue before ending the kiss. Too soon, it’s over far too soon.
I can’t take my eyes off the way he licks his lips as if he wanted to taste me again.
I’m sitting stunned as he walks away. I thought he didn’t kiss?
Chapter13
Celia
I’m warnedwhen the nurse comes to get my order for dinner Milos won’t be home, but that didn’t mean I could go without vegetables tonight. I couldn’t help smiling at the order.
I can’t stop thinking of what happened after the spanking, the things he said. What did it mean? Did he want me? What could that even look like with me two hours away from him? If Carlo found out there would be a marriage, and if there was a marriage Milos would make me come back to Chicago.
All at once I want it—him—so badly. Except it’s impossible. There is no veterinarian program within the city limits as good as what is in UIUC. Hell, the mafia wives allowed to get a degree were so few I could count them on one hand. And they only did it in the last decade. Some were allowed to take occasional classes, but usually they ended up pregnant before they were able to graduate. Once they were pregnant they were home locked behind the gates.
Getting involved with Milos would mean waving goodbye to my dream of becoming a vet. I close my eyes. I’m not ready for that. I want Milos fiercely, with a desperation I’ve never known before, but I’m not ready yet to let go of one dream for another. And I would have to be.
