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It took almost a week, a tidbit dropped at a meeting with Carlo and Dom here, a glance of my hand there. Then when I was on my way to a meeting with Dominic where I was going to bring up wanting a wife, I stepped out of my SUV and took a bullet to my chest. It was an inch and a half from a major artery. It wasn’t just the Serbian who breathed his last breath less than four hours later along with his boss and his boss’s family. The universe was telling me:not yet.
For a week while I lay in bed at home, all I could think was that as badly as I wanted Celia, we were still at the wrong time. I took a breath and decided to keep waiting.
Until she called me crying. The moment I heard the tears, I promised damnation to whoever caused them. Except there was no person I could destroy—in the end I destroyed us.
I was aware she would be waiting for the results of her mother’s tests. It didn’t matter I was up until nine that morning dealing with an issue of a shipment of explosives being misrouted. I woke up to plug into the video I could watch on my phone. Relief filled me as she got the news, the sounds of her happy squeals music to my ears.
My thumb was on the screen to disconnect when I watched and heard Celia say she was going to come to me. The words didn’t make sense. Then her sister warned her, and I understood. She believed our time was at an end. Not knowing there was no end.
She sat there for so long I wondered if she was listening to her sister and changed her mind. I was sure she had. So much so I actually fell asleep again. Only to be woken by Peter telling me that Celia wanted to see me and went to the restaurant. Did I want to go to her or bring her here?
Fury burned through me that she thought she could toss me away when she was done with me. I wanted her brought to me. When she arrived, all I wanted to do was drag her to my bed where she belonged as I promised her I was never letting her go.
Only I didn’t dare touch her. We were so fucking close. She only had a few more months of school left. Stick to the plan. I didn’t need another bullet to remind me to wait. So as badly as I wanted to accept her body the way she offered it, I was angry at her for thinking all I wanted was her body. How the hell could she think it was enough when I needed her mind, her soul, her heart and her forever?
Weak, I was so fucking weak for her. There was no way I could refuse her when she followed me into my room and undressed for me. Tasting her sweet cunt was every fucking thing I had dreamed it would be. She was as sweet as I remembered, so wet for me. When I found that I would have to cause her pain, I hated it. The first time would be hard enough for her—she was so fucking tight, and I’m so fucking big.
But I was going to do it right, give her so much pleasure it was all she would remember. Stupid need to see all of her as I reached for a condom had her facing me in the light. And par for the course, Celia got scared.
Anger that she didn’t trust me enough to give her pleasure, only pain, turned my tongue cruel. For so many years I’d dreamed of this moment, I had planned every single second, but Celia was denying me—she was afraid of me. It was the bullet wound all over again, only it hurt three times worse.
Like the bastard I am, I told her to leave and never come back. Hurting her and me at the same time. Only it didn’t matter any more; nothing mattered because after four years, how could she fear me? If she feared me I could never truly have her.
Shame roils through me as I hear her tell her sister what I told her. That she doesn’t believe I want her as deeply as I do. And there it is, her sister mentions Tony Sabatini. What drove her to his home.
Even now I shudder with the remembered anger. All those times she spoke his name, used him as a shield. When I checked her tracker out of boredom, wondering where she was as I waited for Nikita to quit complaining about his lack of a true welcome from our uncle. I knew immediately where she was.
I hung up on Nikita and called Peter, asking him what the fuck she was doing at Tony Sabatini’s house. He told me she wasn’t at Sabatini’s only to realize I already knew exactly where she was as I was looking at her tracker.
The tracker in a molar that wasn’t actually the filling for a cavity the dentist told her it was. Valdez had come through as always. Setting up a new dental office only a few miles from Celia’s home. They sent innocuous postcards offering free dental care in exchange for positive reviews in hopes of gaining new patients, or so the postcard said. It worked and out of an abundance of caution, he agreed with my request to put trackers in all of them. Considering I’ve ordered several family members of men who crossed me killed, I decided it was better to have the information and never need it rather than not have it and need it.
Sabatini had seen through me—he knew. His words haunt me. “I am going to offer you some words of wisdom. Playing games and keeping from your woman how much she means to you will only leave you both with unnecessary pain. It cost me five years with my woman. The time isn’t the issue, it’s the pain their lack of security with you brings them. When your woman hurts, you hurt. She can’t see it because she’s blind with her own pain. Coming back from it is never as easy as you want it to be.”
I could not bring myself to do more than nod.
His sigh was heavy as he closed the door behind me. I watched Celia as Pavel held her door open for her to get into the SUV. Her head was down, deep in thought. At Tony’s words that I clearly hurt, I froze in concern that despite what he believed, Celia would see it. But he was correct—she is so deep in herself she cannot see anything but her own pain.
He is not wrong. I hate the idea of her in pain. Yet, we are too close to the end goal for me to give in and tell her the truth. It all comes down to if she is aware she’ll give it all away. Celia is easy to read. If I told her everything, she wouldn’t be able to hide it. Until the threat of my uncle was past I couldn’t tell her. If Grigori knew how much she meant he wouldn’t hesitate to use her. Grigori was my grandfather all over again—malicious, craven, downright fucking evil at times.
This was for her protection.
My phone rings. It’s Manuel. “We’re on our way. No issues.”
“Aleksander will meet you when you arrive. Will you be staying overnight? Would you like to stay in the building?” I ask him. It’s paid to treat the man who was willing and able to kill with ease and over several states when he accompanied his family’s deliveries well. When last time I wanted someone dead who had fled to New Orleans, Manuel offered to kill him without me even asking. I had simply intended to ask him if he knew the city enough to recommend someone.
“Thank you, I appreciate the offer. I will be in Chicago for a week for other business issues.”
“If there is anything else I can do to assist you in the endeavor, I will be happy to,” I offer.
“No thank you. I have it in hand.” I’m not really surprised at him declining. The man does not easily accept assistance in any way.
“Since you are staying for the week, feel free to come by and we can have lunch or dinner.”
“I will.” He ends the call abruptly as always.
I check my watch. I have enough time to meet Celia at home with the wedding planner. My mother is nearly trembling with anticipation to meet her. I think it wise to be there to buffer Celia from my mother’s effusive welcome.
Chapter19
