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Milos said hours, but maybe twenty minutes later the housekeeper arrives, telling me she’ll be here for several hours, to take my time getting her a list. I spend the day in a hair mask as I read on the large, velvet sofa in the room with the television.
A few hours after he leaves I get a text from Milos telling me he won’t be done until it’s time for us to leave for Carlo’s home and the engagement party at eight.
I decide to take my time getting ready and start with a long soak in the enormous jetted tub. After a half hour I get out and finally wash out the mask in the shower. As I unwrap my hair I wonder what the hell I’m going to do with it. I know what I want to do, but I don’t have the skills for it.
My phone pings with a text from Sergei asking if I want company. I text him yes please, I need help with my hair.
Three minutes later he’s walking through the front door. “Hey, how are you?” His eyes are soft as he studies me.
I sigh. “I guess I’m a sociopath or something because I’m fine. I was freaked out last night. But today…fine. Which actually freaks me out more than what I did. Shouldn’t I be more, I don’t know, sad or something? What was it like the first time you…”
He shrugs. “Not good, I threw up once before from nerves and twice after because the blood went every fucking where. I had nightmares about it for a few weeks, then out of nowhere I didn’t think about it at all. The next one was much easier.”
“Huh, I didn’t have any nightmares,” I mutter.
“Don’t feel guilty, it was self-defense. You saved Milos and probably the lives of his brothers. It would have gotten very bloody very fast. The man you killed had a twenty-one-round extended capacity magazine in the gun, the one on his hip and two more magazines on him. The bullets were Teflon and hollow point—it’s why it made such a big mess. Believe me when I tell you everyone is grateful for what you did. Except Milos.” He rolls his eyes.
My chest twists painfully at his words. “Why is Milos not grateful?”
“Because he doesn’t want you with blood on your hands. You’re supposed to be kept safe and protected from this life.” He goes into the kitchen and grabs a bottle of water.
Too late now. And it doesn’t matter because I don’t regret it. I would do it again if I had a choice. Trailing behind him, I ask what I’ve been wondering. “What happened to his other condo?”
He frowns. “I think he still owns it but he gave it to Aleksander. He bought this one a few months ago. It’s three floors down. So what are you thinking for your hair?”
“I’m wanting those sexy waves you gave me for graduation. Can we do it?”
Sergei grins. “Oh yeah, not a problem.”
Two hours later, I’m studying myself in the mirror while Sergei claps excitedly.
“I’m so good. But it’s easy when I’m working with quality.” He sighs.
Any other time and I’d argue with him, but today I can’t. I’m beautiful, it’s amazing. The white lace dress has a high neck, long sleeves, and the hem falls to the floor with a small puddle of a train behind me. There is a dark sheer lining that won’t allow anything show beneath the lace covering me. The silhouette is a sheath that hugs my breast, hips and cinches ever so slightly at my waist before falling straight down. It’s a beautiful dress, and in it I’m beautiful.
He pulls out his phone. “I’m going to take a picture. Milos is going to lose it. He’ll fall in love all over again. I love this dress, it’s like a wedding dress. Perfect for the engagement party.”
His words make me cranky. “No. No pictures. And don’t say that.”
He’s pouting as he puts his phone away. “Say what?”
“He’ll fall in love again. He doesn’t love me. Let’s not go there right now.” I force a deep breath. I will not cry and mess up my makeup when it took forever.
His bewildered expression somehow makes it worse. “You think he doesn’t love you? The guy who paid for four years of college, killed for you, bought you a car so you’d never have to walk again, has watched over you for all this time. Why the hell do you think he doesn’t love you?”
I’m exasperated. “Because he said so. He told me not to ask for love. That it was a hormone that would fade. It needed to be enough he respected and cared for me. All that other stuff is straight of the mafia handbook for control, contain, keep. Him not being able to have me for years is the only thing keeping him interested. If I’d been with him from the beginning it would have been dead and over long ago. My guess is it’s the marriage thing. He didn’t want to get married earlier and Carlo wouldn’t have allowed anything less. Now that he’s ready for marriage, he’ll take the one he knows.”
“What the hell do you mean he told you?” Sergei’s voice goes up an octave.
“I asked him. Or was trying to ask him and he knew. He cut me off and was like don’t ask for more. This is a marriage based on respect and sex. Like I said, he’s after kids, that’s all he cares about. Come on, Sergei, he could have lied and told me he loved me and used it to get me to do anything he wants. The man is so manipulative it’s not even fair. He didn’t though—because he respects me.” I hate how I mutter the last bit like a petulant child.
He opens his mouth to argue, but Milos is in the doorway of the bathroom. “Sergei. Leave.”
Holy shit, my stomach twists so painfully it leaves me gasping. How much of that did he hear? And how annoyed will he be?
Sergei doesn’t argue. Giving Milos a wide berth, he disappears.
I can’t say a word, don’t dare.
