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“You’re insane,” I whisper. “I don’t belong to anyone.” I try to make the words strong, like I believe what I’m saying. I don’t think I succeed.
“You do belong to me. You came to me because you’ve known it all this time. You are no longer alone. You now have five brothers and a mother who is looking forward to meeting you. Perhaps in another year or two you’ll have our first child.”
The thought of a family twists me up inside. I never allowed myself to consider having a child—a family. If I couldn’t imagine letting a man touch me, how the heck could I have a child? Fear had clung to me, the idea of making sure my children never knew of all I went through. Aleksander offering it as if it weren’t a big deal is cruel.
“I hate your guts.” I need him to know that.
Both eyebrows go up. “You do.” He agrees as if it didn’t bother him at all. “You also feel safe with me. Your cunt is wet at the thought of me. It confuses you. Do you feel safe with me because I make your cunt wet, or does me making your cunt wet make you feel safe? Don’t worry, baby girl, Daddy will give you time to accept your feelings. By the time those stitches heal, Daddy will have you riding my face like it’s the throne my princess sits on.”
Oh dear god, it is a threat and it makes me as wet as he said. I’m a coward as I squeeze my eyes shut against what hearing him call himself daddy does to me. When I open my eyes, I’m shocked to find he’s gone. Where did he go? He just walked away?
Nothing makes sense to me. Aleksander knew everything about me,everythingand he…did he want me too? Or was it that he was willing to give me what I needed? I don’t understand.
Amaya appears. “You ready for breakfast?”
I nod even though I’m not hungry.
* * *
Phoenix
I’m grateful for Amaya not asking questions today. She keeps up a steady stream of chatter I’m not able to focus on. When I’m tired of pretending like I’m eating, she takes our trays into the kitchen and orders me to take a nap. Except I can’t. Aleksander is taunting me with those golden eyes every time I close my eyes.
No, this isn’t happening to me. I donotwant him. I hate him. He knows what happened to Ray. If there was any doubt after seeing the way he acted when I asked—there isn’t now. Aleksander or Milos had Ray killed. Aleksander knows and he’s not going to tell me.
Aleksander Levin couldn’t mean for me to stay married to him. It was…it was sick and twisted. He or his brother had my uncle killed. This attraction, I don’t know what it is, it’s not real. It’s, I don’t know what it is, but I’m not giving in to it.
It didn’t matter it seemed like he cared when he told me to keep the memory of Ray I had. As if he didn’t want me to know the real Ray, it didn’t make sense. If Ray was so bad, wouldn’t he want me to know? If only for him to look better.
Stop thinking like that. All Aleksander really cared about was protecting himself and his family. He wasn’t going to tell me what happened to Ray. The man is made of steel once his mind is made up. I didn’t need to know him well to know that.
What if he believed it was what I needed to give in to him? He couldn’t want me for real, could he? All the women I’ve seen him with were gorgeous, the kind of women I could never be confused with. Although from the photos of him with women, it seemed like he preferred blondes. I didn’t look anything like the blondes he was with. Those were the type of women he would marry. Not someone who couldn’t stand to be touched. Not someone who longed to be used, to be held down and taken—not just taken, raped screaming and fighting. Not someone who was gross and needed gross things to even get wet.
Men like Aleksander Levin didn’t marry women like me. I didn’t know what to do with men like him. Men who drove million-dollar cars and owned a condo in the clouds. Men with money and power wanted women who fit their world.
I don’t fit in his world. I sent more than a hundred men to jail and sent a further hundred men into the hell of fire by outing them for their crimes for years. Yet less than six months of going up against a criminal in the real world, and I almost ended up dead.
A week ago Aleksander was promising me he’d kill me without pain. If I continued to fight him, he'd kill me the way he planned and like the Manuel guy, he’d probably make it look like an accident. I’d cease to exist and no one would know, or ask questions.
The guy in the alley was right, I hadn’t thought and I’m here. If I wanted out then I had to start thinking, or I’d end up dead.
* * *
Aleksander
The moment I open my bedroom door David is inches away. “Have I angered you?”
Annoyed, I don’t answer immediately, instead staring him down. Head down, he backs up then raises his eyes pleadingly. “Why am I no longer your protector?”
“My wife’s safety is—”
“Wife?” Eyes wide, he goes tense.
Shit. Not this again. How could he still be hopeful after all these years? I’m firmer than ever in my decision. “Yes, wife. Her safety is more important than my own. There are threats to her alone. I trust in you to protect her as you would me.”
His jaw goes tense. Nodding, he steps back. “Yes, sir, I apologize and will protect her with my life.”
Despite his words he doesn’t meet my eyes. I exit the condo to find Boris waiting for me to go upstairs to check in on Nikita.
