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When she leaves after almost two hours I almost plead for her to stay. I don’t though. I’m too afraid if I open my mouth I’ll start crying again. The tea she gave me has kicked in. It doesn’t matter it’s not even five in the evening, I’m so tired I go upstairs to take a nap.
For the first time since I arrived in the house sleep doesn’t just come easily, it’s nearly drugging. The dream feels real. Daddy’s arms are around me, my back to him. Finally, I’m warm again after being so cold. He’s whispering his need for me. The press of his cock into me from behind is perfection. It feels like it’s been months not two weeks. I want fast, I need more, all of him. Daddy is slow and sweet. I could stay like this forever. A hand slides over my stomach. His thrusts are deeper,harder, moreplease, I moan.
The hand slips from my stomach to my aching, swollen clit. I explode and float in waves of pleasure. Oh, the wet heat of come fills me. This wasn’t a dream. I squeeze my eyes tight, no. It was a dream. Just a dream. I slip into sleep welcoming the dark.
CHAPTER34
Aleksander
“You look like shit. Almost as bad as your wife.”
“Eight weeks of this. Every day feels like ten. How the hell did you go four years without Celia?” I mutter. I want vodka except I don’t trust myself to stop at one glass. The first week Phoenix left I spent it completely wasted. There wasn’t a single concern of her seeing me not in complete control, I had no doubt she wasn’t coming back until I dragged her back. Since I wasn’t going to put my hands on her for fear of hurting her, I drank every drop of liquor in my condo before going up to Milos’s place and doing the same there.
“I hadn’t had her yet. I told myself the fantasy of her was what I wanted not her. After the time we spent together I switched it to the waiting for her would make it even better. Then again you are sneaking into her bed every night, not exactly going without.” He sits down with a sigh.
I shake my head. Shame fills me at how no sleep and need had driven me to her. I was supposed to demand she talk to me. Mother had admitted she felt the need to drug my wife because she wasn’t sleeping and looked like hell. She felt awful and wanted to apologize to Phoenix except she was now terrified if she did Phoenix would never forgive her. I’d never heard my mother as distraught as she was.
When I checked it was nothing more than an allergy medication that also was used for a sleep aid and safe for pregnant women. Once I calmed Mother down I steeled myself to check on Phoenix. She might have thought there weren’t cameras in the guest bedroom, she was wrong. I’d watched her every moment since she left me. The circles under her eyes were so dark she looked like she was struck.
And in one way she had been. By me and the truth. All I wanted to do was hold her. Weak, I wrapped my arms around her. Within minutes even though I felt her in deep sleep the tension that clung to her evaporated. I’m almost positive if she hadn’t whispered and moaned for me, calling me Daddy in her sleep I would have been strong enough not to take advantage of her while she slept.
Another lie. Eight days without her was too much, the pain too stark not to try and ease it within her soft, sexy body. Hearing her call me Daddy after the blow of her calling me Aleksander undid me. The moment it was over guilt hit me hard—until I realized she wasn’t asleep as she clutched my cock tight to keep me inside her. I told myself I wouldn’t do it again, to stay away from her until she came to me. More lies. I went two nights before I was back again.
“It isn’t the same. She pretends to sleep, refuses to open her eyes to me. Every night I tell myself not to go back…but I can’t not. Even if we don’t make love, I can’t sleep without her. She doesn’t either. Yet during the day she looks right through me. At the last doctor’s appointment the doctor asked me what was going on. Phoenix has dropped almost fifteen pounds. The doctor tore me a new one. So I don’t go two nights, wondering if it’s making things worse. Then she spends the next few days crying her heart out. This shit is tearing me up. To stay away from her hurts her, to be with her but notwithher hurts me.”
“She won’t talk to Celia about it, she pretends nothing is wrong. Yet, she also talks of her plans for the baby coming and even ordered a baby blanket with Raymond’s name on it. Says she’s leaving Chicago after but won’t say where.”
“Victoria, British Columbia. She likes the weather there and thinks it’s safer. I cleaned out her investment account a month ago. There’s only a thousand in there. It won’t get her far. My one and only concern is Valdez. The man is not an easy read if he’ll help her or not.” I share my concern. “Valdez said she asked him where trackers are put in. I told him if he tells her I’ll kill him.”
He chuckles. “He won’t. Apparently, his moral code goes out the window when it comes to a man keeping his woman. He told me about your conversation. When I explained it, he said no worries, he’ll keep an eye on her.”
I sigh. “Thank fuck.”
My phone rings, I check the display. It’s Amaya. “Yes?”
“Your wife. She removed the tooth with her tracker in it on her own. Blood everywhere. Her and baby are fine. Not smart, but smart enough to call me for help.”
Jesus.
“What’s the matter?”
“The twins, they were born at thirty-four weeks and were good, right?” I need to confirm.
An eyebrow goes up. “Yes, the longer they can go the better. She’s at thirty-six weeks now. Her and the baby should be good.”
“Thanks.”
The whole way there I’m wondering if there is any way all of this won’t break her apart.
Mother is leaving when I exit the car. “Good boy.” She mutters as she gets into my car so it can take her home.
Phoenix is in our bedroom. I wasn’t expecting it, she’s clung to the guest bedroom, even moving her clothes into the closet there. Her head comes up when I enter the room. Going into the walk-in closet, it only takes minutes to find what I’m looking for. I take off my jacket and shirt in preparation.
Her eyes are on the ball chain whip. She’s never seen it before. I bought it as an in case toy but was relieved when she didn’t need more pain. Confusion is clear as she sits on the edge of the bed.
I hesitate until I see the drops of blood on the carpet, her cheek is swollen from removing the tooth on her own. The thought of her in pain enough to hurt herself sends me on my knees. I offer her the whip. “My safe word is sunshine.”
The sob torn from her throat would’ve sent me to my knees if I weren’t already there. She’s on her knees with me, tears streaming down her face like a river overflowing its banks. “Please, please just tell me what happened that night. I’m begging you.”
