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“Simple as it’s going to be.” James stood and hugged Madelyn, then shook my hand. There were only two seats at the table, so I gestured that Madelyn should sit and I dragged over one of the clumsy armchairs sitting in front of the desk. It earned me a sour look from Sister Emanuelle, something I had no doubt would have earned me some stripes with a ruler if I was a boy.
“I’ll file the paperwork with the court and contact you when the hearing date is established. I expect this will be an immediate gavel bang and done, since there are no known relatives to contest this and the sisters have agreed that as long as the child is raised within the church, they are glad to see her placed in a stable, loving home.”
He gave me a long look as he said it, like maybe I wasn’t stable or loving.
Madelyn nodded quickly and snatched the pen from the table, signing everywhere James indicated, then she passed the pen to me. I noticed her hand shook when she did it and I grabbed her hand rather than the pen, kissing the back of it as I watched her eyes go all melty.
“This is a pretty simple process,” James said. “Private adoptions are only as complicated as you make them and the good sisters seem interested in placing the baby as quickly as possible.”
Sister Emanuelle’s face softened for the first time and the look she gave Madelyn suggested she was trying to smile. It looked painful as fuck.
“Madelyn has demonstrated her loyalty to Mary with her faithful visits and it’s clear the baby has grown attached to her. I can’t say that for the other couples who have approached us, so truly, with time Ms. VanBuren, you’ve won me over.”
“Beckman,” I corrected without even thinking about it, and I caught Madelyn’s smile out of the corner of my eye. “She’s Mrs. Beckman.”
“Beckman.” The unpleasant grimace stretched wider on Sister Emanuelle’s face. “Yes, our Mary will be a blessing to your household and you will be a blessing to her. I expect we’ll be seeing more of her in the very near future, at Mass of course, and then when she is of age to begin her schooling.”
I had no personal experience with the Sisters as teachers, but I remembered Steve telling me about some of Madelyn’s experiences at their hands. She wasn’t in their care for long, but I had no doubt she’d been terrorized and had given it right back to them.
“We’ll love her,” I promised. “She’ll be safe and warm, fed and protected, and we’ll always do right by her.”
It didn’t escape me that the words leaving my mouth felt a little like the promises I’d made to Madelyn before slipping a simple band on her finger. She deserved so much better, both the promises and the ring.
Madelyn’s eyes were huge and shiny as James grouped the papers together and straightened them by gathering them in his hands and ticking the bottoms against the tabletop. It was a loud noise in the quiet room and when there was a soft knock at the door I’m pretty sure Madelyn’s heart stopped.
Sister Theresa let herself in, a squirmy little bundle tucked into her left arm, wiggling against her shoulder, but the baby wasn’t vocally fussing.
“You’d never believe how much she’s grown in our care,” she chuckled. “She couldn’t have been more than two weeks old when she got here and she was so tiny…” She looked at Madelyn. “You saved her, my child. It’s right that you should be her mother.”
Madelyn sucked in an audible breath and I reached out to put a hand around her waist just as Sister Theresa stepped forward and settled the baby in her arms.
I can’t tell you what happened at that moment, but I could hear the blood pounding in my ears, my heart thumping in my chest. I had the whole world right there, in my arms, and I realized in that next heartbeat just how awful it would be to lose everything I’d just found. I was taking the first real breaths of my life at forty-five years old.How have I been asleep for so long?
“We’ve packed a few things for her,” Sister Theresa said as she reached out to smooth her hand over the baby’s head and Daniela looked up at her seriously with huge, dark eyes. “We’ll miss this little one.”
I watched Madelyn’s knuckles whiten when the sister said it, like she was ready and willing to fight anyone who’d try to take the little girl out of her arms.
There were a few more pleasantries and we stumbled out into the sunshine with a box of diapers and a few clothes in my arms, Daniela cuddled up to Madelyn’s chest.
James congratulated us. Shook my hand, which I had to put down the box to do, and gingerly hugged Madelyn, keeping a safe distance so as not to crush the baby.
I hovered over Madelyn while she settled the baby into the car seat she’d installed in the truck weeks earlier and she turned with huge, bright eyes and such a hopeful smile that it made me smile back at her. I reached for her then, grabbing her by the face and hauling her mouth to mine for a not-so-innocent kiss.
“Not in front of the kid!” someone hollered from across the street, and there was raucous laughter from the small group of guys. I lifted a middle finger in response and there was good-natured laughter.
I walked her around to the passenger side and gave her a hand to help her in, something that earned me a sideways glance. She was one hundred percent capable of handling herself, but Hailey had made sure I was well trained. I was thoughtful and chivalrous, thanks to her repeatedly drilling the importance of both things into my head, saying that no son of hers was going to go out into the world to burden another woman. I supposed that was something I should have thanked her for, in retrospect, but it had been used against me in the past too, so sometimes I wished she’d have just allowed me to grow up with just a touch of asshole.
There were cars in the driveway when we got home, a drive during which I think Madelyn sat gazing into the back seat the entire time. I’d asked her if she wanted me to pull over so she could ride next to the baby, but she shook her head. Honestly, I think she was still getting used to the idea and she needed just a few moments of physical distance to get her head on straight.
“Uh…looks like the cavalry’s here,” I announced, only a little ashamed that I’d thought to text Steve before we headed to Sacred Heart. The man couldn’t keep a secret to save his soul–that he’d kept the adoption quiet for more than a day was a miracle in itself. He was plainly to thank for the cars in the driveway.
There was a squeal from inside the house as I got out of the truck. I knew I’d locked the house before we left; had I missed a door?
“Let me see the little munchkin!”
Kennedy came flying out of the house, her arms wide as she rushed toward the truck, and Madelyn was already reaching into the seat to unbuckle the baby.
“Gimme, gimme, gimme!” Kennedy’s hands were out. “I need some little squishy!”
