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“I’m ashamed to say that no... I don’t know.” My brows furrowed at that, and Brandon paused his tapping to sit up straight and rub his knuckles. “You were right. I don’t think I have it in me to be aggressive with someone, or punch them, or touch a gun. I guess, the reason I asked, is because you said you never regretted killing someone, and Mason wouldn’t be the first.”
“Oh, that.” I wasn’t going to apologize for what I said to Brandon, but I did feel bad. Now, it was clearer to see that I accused Brandon of making emotional decisions while doing the same.If he hadn’t had some epic realization, though, things wouldn’t have changed.“I’ve never killed someone because they bumped into me or something. If that’s what you mean. If Mason didn’t talk about the logistics, and ‘time is money’, I wouldn’t have charged for it because I know what it’s like. It was like... I mean, if I’m honest, it was like a side passion project. These women were poor and scared and battered... they couldn’t scrape together five bucks, let alone a thousand dollars or more.”
“Does money really make that much of a difference?”
Nodding mutely, my heart ached for Brandon and his massive misunderstanding of how the world worked. The only way to truly understand was to live it, and he rubbed his face roughly with a heavy sigh.
“I don’t know how it got to this point, and I never thought I’d be having a conversation like this, but... maybe, it’sbecauseI don’t have a lot of experience with what a person is worth that I can.”
“That’s not necessarily a bad thing. To be honest, Brandon, living on a salary of eighty or a hundred thousand dollars a year is going to be just as hard for someone like me as it would be for someone like you. There’s things you don’t even realize you pay for, and there’s things I don’t feel like are worth the money when it’s only because it’s not a necessity.” Shaking my head a little, I blinked hard, and Brandon grunted lowly in acknowledgment. “Anyway— the point is that we need to get rid of Jett on this island or getting to Mason will be much harder.”
“Yeah. I can’t see how this’ll work out, but you’re confident, so I trust you, Katie.” He grabbed my hand and squeezed tightly, and I shuffled closer to him as he brought my knuckles to his lips. “I should’ve known from the start that you’re not a victim. You’re a survivor. You always try to be realistic and reasonable, and I always screw it up. Like with the yacht, and Julia. You always tried to make me realize that it wasn’t spending money that made me happy, it was being with you, and I still drove you so far away...”
“I won’t let this baby grow up the way we did, Brandon.” My murmur made him tense, and I frowned as my face grew hot. “Just because you had this epiphany doesn’t change that. I won’t allow my baby to be a statistic, and I won’t allow her to be raised by a perpetual string of nannies, only seeing you when you feel so bad and need a pick-me-up. I just want you to know that sliding back is going to happen. This is who you are right now, and you can’t change everything overnight, on one revelation... but while I will try my best to help you, I’m not shouldering the entirety of your mental health or taking responsibility for what you do or don’t do.”
“... I know it doesn’t matter considering everything, but I’ll try... I’ll put in the effort.” Brandon put his palm on my belly, and our baby wiggled around.
I was so used to it, now, and I laid back on the sofa. He carefully rolled up my shirt, and I propped my arms under my head to watch him press his forehead against my bump.
“I’m gonna be a better dad than mine. I promise. And I’m gonna be a better husband.”
“The key to those two things is being a good person, Brandon, and you may have kinks, but you’re a good person. Good people short-circuit in bad situations because they’re not used to bad things.” Running my hands through his hair, I relished this moment of peace— the calm before the storm. This was a moment we should’ve had all the time but couldn’t, and he nuzzled my bump affectionately. “Things are going to be different when we get home.”
“Things were going to be different anyway. We’re going to be parents. And I’m quitting my job. And you’re going to make me live on fifty grand for a whole year...” Brandon smiled against my bump, and I arched a brow when he glanced up at me with excited eyes. “It’s gonna be great.”
“You’re such an idiot. You’re probably gonna have a heart attack trying to live on that much when you realize it’s not a lot.” At this point, we were just waiting for the alarms to get tripped on the perimeter. Everything was ready. All non-essential staff were already in the bunkers. Brandon and I had to be smuggled in equipment boxes to keep up the illusion we were at the main house, for Christ’s sake!And it was kinda fun.
But now, all we could do was twiddle our thumbs and wait, which was noticeably less fun. I didn’t want to wait on Jett to move.No use wishing this had been resolved months ago.
ChapterEighteen
BRANDON
An incredibly shrill siren blasted through the bunker, and Katie and I both shot up as adrenaline instantly spiked my blood. Before I could even think to breathe past my heart in my throat, she grabbed my shoulder and sort of tapped my face with her free hand. It wasn’t a slap, but it sure felt like it through the panic, and I inhaled a shaky, shallow breath.
“It’s okay. Don’t panic. The alarms were tripped at the main house.” Just as she spoke, the blaring alarm stopped, and I slumped back against the sofa to run my hands up my face and into my hair. “Breathe. We’re fine. We’re gonna be fine.”
“I wish we could see what was happening.” The waiting was frustrating; was this how Katie felt these past four months? I couldn’t even make it a few hours. Standing up, I stretched my arms and legs and tried to shake off the nerves. “Let’s go to the security room. Nathan should be waiting for us.”
“Trust the soldiers here, Brandon. They’re aware that this is not an exercise, and there are no rubber bullets.”
But, still, I couldn’t help the ache in the pit of my stomach, and Katie grabbed my hand as she stood up. Somehow, she’d managed to organize this whole thing in less than a day, and things were moving far too fast for me.
“Just calm down. This isn’t even the exciting part.”
“Yeah.” Leaving the little room to head down a narrow hallway, Katie and I didn’t speak as my mind whirled unstably.This isn’t even the exciting part.What was the exciting part? Running for the plane and trying to take off in record time? As soon as the main building went up in flames, we were going to have to scurry aboveground.
“Hey— you’re just in time.”
Nathan pushed open the door to the security room, but it was so tiny that only four screens could fit in it. We three barely shuffled in without being pressed together, and the sudden sense of claustrophobia crept up on me. On the screens, my teams and Jett’s teams were wandering around cautiously, trying to catch each other.
“That’s her! Right there.” Katie pointed at the top left screen.
A cold sweat broke out under my clothes as her face twisted in pure hate. She grabbed a small headset, pushing a button, while I just stood in the corner trying desperately to keep up.
“That’s her nearing the primary kitchen. Even if you don’t get anyone else, get her. She’s rounding the corner in about seven seconds.”
“... Engaging.”
