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“Yeah, um…” He looks a bit nervous, not really meeting my eyes. “Can we talk for a second?”
“Of course!” I cheer again. “Want some coffee or something?”
Tanner shakes his head, dragging a hand through his hair. “No, thank you. I can’t stay.”
Disappointment settles in my stomach. “Oh, okay. So, what do you want to talk about?”
“Let’s sit down,” he says, dragging me to the couch. I see him swallow, and it’s like he’s bracing himself for something. Then he opens his mouth. “Sophie, I really like you.”
“I really like you, too,” I say back, trying to keep the smile on my face. Something in his tone worries me.
“It’s just that, over the past few days, you’ve kind of been coming on a little strong.”
Shit. “Well, I’m sorry if I’m a little enthusiastic,” I try to explain, an edge to my voice. “I don’t play games, Tanner. If I like someone, I’m going to show it.”
“And that’s great,” he assures me. “But I’ve told you several times that I was busy, and you just kept calling and texting. We’re not a couple, Sophie. We’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks. I’ve already told you that I want to take things slow. I would like to keep seeing you, but I don’t know if that’s such a good idea if we’re in different places all the time.”
“I don’t understand,” I whisper quietly. “You want to keep seeing me, but not if I show you how much I like you?”
“You’re twisting my words,” he says with a sigh. “I don’t mean that you can’t contact me or anything. I like that you like me. It’s just a bit much too soon.”
“So, what are you saying?” I ask, swallowing a lump in my throat. “You don’t want to see me anymore?”
“I think it’s best if we just put on the brakes a little bit,” Tanner replies softly, and he takes my hand. I yank it free, placing my hands on my lap.
“Fine,” I answer with a pout. “If that’s what you want.”
“Sophie, I’m sorry if I’ve hurt your feelings. I just don’t think we want the same things right now.”
“Got it.” My words are coming out short and curt. “You can leave now.”
Tanner stands up and looks at me like he has more to say. He opens his mouth, but then changes his mind. He walks over to the door, and right before he leaves, he turns around and looks at me.
“I really am sorry.”
“You said that already. Bye!”
He sighs again, but he doesn’t say anything else. He just closes the door behind him and walks away. I sit frozen in place on the couch. He thinks I’m coming on too strong? Sure, maybe I called one time too many, but why should I hold back? I’m not one to play hard to get; I wear my feelings on my sleeve. Is that really so bad?
Damn it!I wipe at my eyes, tears falling down my cheeks. I don’t want to cry over him. He’s just some guy, and we didn’t really know each other all that well. But the way he smiled at me, the way he held me and kissed me… It felt real. Special. But I guess it was just me who thought so.
I go to his profile and check it for the hundredth time that day. I scroll to the photo of him and Brandy Daiko.
Wait a minute. Did something happen between them during this trip? They look awfully cozy in the picture, that’s for damn sure. Maybe this was just a convenient excuse to end things withme. I slam the phone against the couch and let out a groan. I bury my face in my hands, rubbing at my eyes.
Maybe Tanner is one of those guys who need their girlfriend to be someone. Maybe he needs someone with a following of her own. Someone he can use on his own socials. I pick up my phone again and open my own profile. Fifty-six followers now, and I have a DM from DonnieWylde93. A picture of him shirtless, biting his bottom lip.Fuck boy.
I go back to my profile and scroll through my images. I could be that person. I could create the same thing that Tanner has. A brand, a big following. That would certainly get his attention. I can do that, right? How hard can it be? I’ve already gained some followers over the past few days when I’ve posted my pictures. I just need to crank it up a notch. I need some new clothes. Something a bit more out there than my usual wardrobe; something that would look good when people scroll through their feed.
Maybe I should get a camera, too, a proper one. My phone works alright, but if I bought a professional camera, my pictures would probably perform even better. I search online and read reviews for different equipment and wince.Damn, that’s expensive. I have some savings, but not a lot. I don’t get paid a lot down at the grocery store, but I do have a few thousand stored away. That money is supposed to be stowed away for a rainy day, but it certainly feels like that day has come. Worst case scenario, I can just sell some old jewelry if I really need to.
I buy one of the cameras that has the best reviews, and as I put in my information, I get a mix of dread and exhilaration throughout my body. I really shouldn’t spend so much, but it’s an investment. Who knows? Maybe this social media thing takes off. Then I’ll be glad to have invested in my future.
I look up one of the fashion brands that I know Tanner has worked with in the past, and I check out their website. Theirclothing is a bit more risquéthan I’m used to, but I still buy a couple of dresses and a flimsy little top that hardly looks like it’ll hold my breasts in place. Whatever, I’ll just have to make it work.
I wonder what Tanner would think if I got more followers than him. I know it’s probably a long shot. But then again, why shouldn’t I be able to get more followers than him? It’s possible. I decide then and there to do it. I’m going to beat Tanner at his own game.
I look up how to gain more followers and read through pretty generic tips and tricks. I purse my lips. It seems like it will probably take quite a while to get to Tanner’s level. I want to do thisnow. I search forhow to gain followers fast, and I get more of the same type of bullshit advice. Post regularly, make sure to engage with your audience. Things like that. But then I see something that catches my eye.
