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“Y’know, you deserve better than living on this side of town,” I tell her, torn between wanting to flatter her and telling her that I don’t want any of this to end.
Spoiling the moment with the truth instead.
I can’t help but say what I feel when I look around and then look at her.
She looks hurt when I say it. “Not all of us have a wallet stacked with cash,” she reminds me with a little scorn in her voice.
“Tell me about it!” I announce suddenly, trying to lighten the mood as I remember one thing – I did lose a wallet stuffed with cash.
But it’s too late for either humor or getting that back now.
We both know she deserves better, and I’m sure if she could, she would live someplace a lot nicer.
I feel like explaining myself better. I want to tell her that I’m not judging her by where she lives and that maybe I could help.
Somehow.
If I knew whoI was, that is.
I have another spinning moment and make an involuntary sound as I tell her the best I can.
“Whatever happens, Holly, we’re a team now. Right?” I ask her.
More like trying to tell her, but it comes out weird because I’m also trying to stay conscious and failing badly again.
“You’re gonna be fine,” she says consolingly, pointing a few buildings ahead. “See? Almost there,” she adds, pulling her lips into a smile.
The spots in front of my eyes dance and swirl, getting bigger than smaller as I struggle to keep her in focus.
Somehow we both make it not just to the building but then up four flights of stairs to boot.
Broken elevator.
She’s red in the face from helping me by the time we get to her door, but I sense she’s still embarrassed.
About living here, and about me being this close to her.
I guess it’s fair to say that by now, she’s become aware of a certain other type of swelling I’ve developed since my tumble.
And it’s all because of her. All for her.
At least, that’s how I feel.
That’s what I want.
But who am I to say?
WhoamI anyway?
“Just tell me we’re a team,” I say again, a little firmer this time as I try to focus, knowing as soon as she opens the door, I’m gonna fucking collapse.
She hesitates, but feeling the pressure of my gaze, the need for her in my voice, maybe, she yields.
“Okay. We’re a team. But we need to get you…,” she starts, unlocking her front door before my prediction comes true.
I manage to stagger a few steps to what could be a couch, but it’s made up like a bed, and falling face forward on it, everything goes black again as I feel myself rolling onto my back.
I don’t mind this time, though.
