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Plenty of time to avoid my landlord for another few days, then maybe just skip town on a bus.
Start fresh somewhere else.
Like I did when I came to this god-forsaken city in the first place.
I watch the puffs of my breath slowing down after resting with my hands on my knees for a minute, getting my bearings inside my mind as well as outside on the street.
It’s an hour or two hike but the only way home now is to start moving.
I’ll work the rest out on the way, with all the final details once I’m home again.
See?
Not the end of the world, Holly. You’re made of tougher stuff than you think.
Just one step at a time. One foot in front of the other.
Steve Carter? He doesn’t know what he just missed out on.
I hope Madison-Malibu Barbie is worth it for ya, buddy. Cause you just missed out on the most amazing girl in the world.
Sucks to be you, Steve, whatever your name was….
This is my monologue for the next hour.
It has to be.
Walking as quickly as I dare on the icy pavement, stopping every now and then to stamp my feet, my arms folded under my armpits to keep my hands warm.
I have to tell myself something until I make it home.
Then I can start to sort out the mess that is my life.
Again.
As tough as my inner dialogue is right now, I know once I do make it home, I’m gonna collapse into a heap and cry like I’ve never cried before.
But not right now.
I gotta make it home first.
CHAPTERELEVEN
Steve
“She fuckingwhat!?” I hear myself spit violently.
I’ve never raised my voice to a nun or cursed at one. And never to Sister O’Halloran.
But this is Holly we’re talking about here.
My eyes shift from hers, that move to study her own feet over to Madison’s.
He’s come down to pick me up, bringing anything he thought I might need after the Sister called and filled him in on what had happened this afternoon.
Once I never came back from my ‘walk,’ which isn’t unusual for me, to be honest.
Sometimes I just take off for a few hours and leave my phone and office to be by myself.
