AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m sure you heard about my dad’s accident,” she said, sighing. “You know he’s gone? That he’s passed.”
I had read something, yeah. It’d been in the stuff Thatcher had gathered about her, but I didn’t know too many specifics besides how it happened. I kicked a foot over the other. “A car accident?”
She twitched once I said it, and I wondered in that moment if that had something to do with her aversion to vehicles. Her dad had died that way, but it did seem extreme to avoid cars altogether.
But who was I to judge trauma?
Whowas Ito judge pain when I’d gotten up to all kinds of fucked-up shit in my past due to mine. At one point, I wasn’t even sure I’d get on the other side of it. I had so much guilt back then surrounding the void my sister being gone had left in my family’s lives. I knew it wasn’t my fault Sloane was gone, but it was my fault for the shit I put my family through. I was depressed and had so many issues.
“Do you know the details?” she asked, and when I shook my head, she nodded. She hugged her legs closer. “Anyway, yeah, I wish it were that easy for me to move on, and I hate myself that I do.”
“Why?”
“Because some people don’t deserve to be right on the other side,” she said, the frown hitting my face. “Some people deserve everything they get.”
I didn’t understand, watching as she stretched out.
“Anywho, I’m sorry for all that. And I am in my feelings.” She pressed the heel of her palms to her eyes, laughter in her voice. The dryness shifted a clench in my gut, the same when that smile made it nowhere near her eyes. “So forgive me.”
She had nothing to apologize for, and once upon a time, I would have agreed with her. I punished myself for a long time for things I wasn’t responsible for. I’d actually wanted to die for all the shit I’d put my parents and my friends through back in the day. I’d been terrible in my grief, crazy and rageful.
I didn’t know why Fawn herself felt that way about her particular situation, but once again, I wouldn’t let myself ask.
You should.
Like a few other occurrences, things were starting to feel a little too serious here, and it was one thing for us to hook up. That was just physical shit. Pleasure, flesh…
But this?
This was some next-level, real shit, and my hands pushed me off the end table. Fawn watched me, her head lifting, and my stomach spasmed again.
Distracting myself from it, I looked away. “You don’t have to apologize, and I’m sorry I just barged in here.” I played that off, waving. “I saw your light on and wanted to say you did a good job today.”
She did do a good job, a great job. Everyone was thoroughly convinced we were together, and Fawn had been great at dinner.
She’d even laughed at my dad’s jokes.
My father was terrible about it, corny as hell, and though I’d cringed through most of it, Fawn had seemed to get a kick out of it. Really, it’d been fun seeing them all together with her, and I liked having her there.
You more than liked it…
Distracting myself from that too, I scrubbed my hand into my hair.
“It was fun today. Reminded me of family and the things my mom, dad, and I used to do.” Her smile stretched, real this time. “And thank you for that. For today. It was fun.”
Yeah, too much fun.
I started to leave her, but when she watched me again, I ended up sitting down on the floor.
“What are you doing?” she asked, and I reached over, snagging one of her extra pillows.
I propped it under my head. “Going to chill in here for a bit. It’s more believable if people think I snuck in to see you.”
I’d be hearing this shit if my parents caught me. They had a time or two in the past when they’d caught me sneaking a girl out, and I didn’t envy Sloane or D for shit. Dorian had a room here from when we were kids, but once my parents had found out they were together, his overnights were few and far between. It certainly didn’t stop D from sneaking back overtonightand crashing in Sloane’s room, but still, they had to be secret about it now.
I supposed when it came to Fawn and me, it would be good if people knew I came in here. It would if I cared about that shit. If it mattered in the grand scheme of things, but it didn’t as much as something else this fake relationship was establishing. It was doing a lot, and that extra shit should probably have me leaving right now. I needed to leave.
But that wasn’t what I was doing, stretching out. Fawn’s feet touched the floor. “You’re going to stay there all night?”
