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“Me too,” I murmur. What happens once she realizes she’s made a mistake? What if she goes after Ares and begs him for forgiveness? His promise to me is nothing compared to the hundreds of promises they must have made to each other throughout the years. Am I condemning myself by agreeing to this?
Mom walks up to Sierra, and together they hold up Hannah’s wedding dress for me, helping me into it carefully. I designed this for her, so it doesn’t fit perfectly, but it’s not far off. This isn’t what I would’ve created for myself, and it’s yet another reminder that I’m merely taking Hannah’s place. Everything I’m experiencing today should’ve been hers, and it sickens me.
“You look gorgeous,” Mom says, but she can’t quite make herself look me in the eye. “Thank you, sweetheart,” she whispers. “I know this isn’t easy for you. I’m sorry that it’s come to this, but perhaps it is fate, you know? Initially, Ares’s fiancee was supposed to be you. Maybe Grandma Anne was right, and this will all work out for the best.”
I look at her and clench my jaw. “Is that what you tell yourself to justify the position you’ve put me in? Is that what you’ve convinced yourself of to ease your guilty conscience?”
Mom winces and looks down, drawing a shaky breath. “Raven,” she whispers. “I… I truly am sorry. If Dad and I hadn’t spoiled your sister the way we have, this wouldn’t have happened. I wish… I wish I’d treated you better. I wish I hadn’t taken you for granted. If I hadn’t, then perhaps this moment between us would’ve been different. It wouldn’t diminish your sacrifice in any way, but perhaps I’d have known how to console you, how to encourage you.”
I frown at her, confused. Mom has never so much as given me any indication that she was aware of the favoritism, the way she and Dad both ostracized me.
She cups my cheek and nods. “I knew,” she tells me. “Of course I knew how you felt. It’s just that Dad and I felt so guilty toward your sister. She was so sick as a child that she spent years at home, missing school and opportunities to make friends, to just be a kid. I’m sorry, Raven. Perhaps my words mean nothing to you, but I wanted to say it nonetheless. Today, more so than usual, the distance between us pains me. I wish you and I could have been like any mother and daughter the morning before the wedding. I wish that, despite the circumstances, I could’ve been the one you turn to. My eyes are open now, Raven. I see what I’ve done, what my actions have turned your sister into.”
My eyes fill with tears that I blink away rapidly, and I nod briefly, unsure of what to say. Out of everything I expected my mother to say today, this wasn’t it.
Mom grabs my shoulders and smiles at me. “Come on,” she says. “Dad is waiting for you just outside the door.”
I nod and follow her out, my heart uneasy. Once I walk down that aisle, there’s no going back. I pray with all my heart that I don’t come to regret this.
ChapterNineteen
Ares
* * *
My four brothers stand by my side in the beautiful vineyard Hannah and I chose as our wedding venue. Countless of Hannah’s friends are seated in front of me, all of them whispering to each other.
Their invite merely stated that they were jointly invited by the Windsors and the Du Ponts, but no mention was made of a wedding. We did it that way to ensure our wedding couldn’t be crashed by paparazzi, but it’s worked in our favor in more than one way.
I was meant to announce what they were here for the moment I took my place at the altar, but how can I, when I don’t know who the bride will be?
“It’s for the best,” Lex says, and Luca nods in agreement.
“She might still change her mind,” I tell them, but they all shake their heads.
“She won’t,” Zane replies. “And someday you’ll thank her for it.”
Dion looks at me, his gaze pointed. “Whatever happens today, Ares, remember that you’re a Windsor, and none of us choose our wives. It’s a tradition that’s served us well for generations, so have some faith, okay?”
I grit my teeth and nod. “I’ll be sure to remind you of that when it’s your turn.” Dion is the only one out of my siblings whose engagement was arranged years ago too. Even from here, I can see his fiancee sitting in the back. I suppose it’s different for them, since Dion doesn’t live here. As far as I’m aware, they only see each other when Grandma forces them to meet, and on special occasions such as these. They’ve never dated, the way Hannah and I have.
Lex sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Would it really be so bad to marry Raven? How about I take your place?”
I tense, red hot fury rushing through me as I turn to face my brother. He takes in my expression and smirks knowingly.
“What?” Lex asks. “Can’t stand the idea of Raven being with anyone else? I thought you didn’t want her as your wife?”
“Fuck off,” I snap.
The boys all chuckle at my expense, and I turn to face forward, ignoring them. The mere thought of Raven with Lexington pisses me off. I shouldn’t feel any possessiveness toward her, but I do.
Music starts to play and the doors swing open. Everything around me fades away as I wait with bated breath. Did she change her mind? Surely Hannah won’t throw away years of planning a future together, years of carefully nurturing our love?
I inhale sharply when Raven appears at the end of the aisle, on her father’s arm. She pauses mid-step, her eyes finding mine, and I force myself to smile at her.
Raven Du Pont. Never in a million years did I think I’d find her walking toward me, wearing a wedding dress that looks beautiful on her, but that wasn’t designed for her. What must it feel like to walk in her sister’s shoes? Nothing about today ishers, not even the man she’s marrying.
Arthur smiles at me despite his grave expression and places Raven’s trembling hand in mine. I wrap my fingers around her hand and hold on to her tightly, my eyes trailing over her face. She’s shaking, and her gaze is filled with fear and insecurity as the officiant starts the ceremony.
