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My eyes widen for a moment, and then I flinch. Sierra looks away, speechless for once. There are no elaborate schemes, no jokes. Not this time. This isn’t a situation we can make light of.
“Grandma told me she’d let me go if I want to. She’ll let us get a divorce. I guess Operation Happily Ever After failed, huh?”
Sierra sits up in shock. “Are you serious?”
I nod and stare down at my nails. “She told me that she just wants me to be happy, but I can’t tell if it was just a way of asking me to do the right thing and divorce him.”
Sierra shakes her head. “No one but Ares and you get to decide that.”
I nod. “I agree, but there’s some truth to what she told me. I spent my entire life loving your brother, and what for? In the end, she’s still standing between us.”
Sierra sits up and frowns, her phone in hand. “Someone disabled my security system.”
Moments later, Ares walks in, his stride confident and his expression unyielding as he approaches me.
“Ares!” Sierra warns, but he ignores her and shoots her a withering warning look.
He reaches for me and lifts me into his arms, one hand around my back and the other underneath my knee. I instinctively lay my head on his shoulder and breathe him in, my heart instantly at ease. No matter what we’re going through, he’s alwayshometo me.
“Enough,” he tells me as he walks out, his grip tight. “I’ve given you a few days to process what happened, but that’s as much as I’ll give you. You’re done running, beautiful. No more avoiding me. That’s not how we deal with our problems, remember?”
I look up at him as he carries me back to our home. He’s only gotten more and more handsome with age, and with each passing year, I’ve fallen for him harder. But is my love enough? Is it enough to see us through the struggles we’re about to face? The media attention, the ridicule, the co-parenting. I’m not sure if I can withstand Hannah’s continuous hits for years on end.
I tense as we walk into our house, worried Hannah might see us. I’m his wife, yet I still feel like I’m doing something wrong by being in his arms in our own home. Is this how I’ll always feel?
Ares puts me down in the middle of our room, and I take a step away from him, feeling conflicted. “Raven,” he whispers. “Can we talk, please? All you’ve done is work or run off to Sierra’s. You once asked me for honest and open communication, and I now ask the same of you.”
I glance at him and nod hesitantly. “Ares, I just don’t know what to say. That’s all it is.”
I run a hand through my hair and walk to the bathroom, expecting him to drop it, but he follows me.
“I’m not asking you to tell me pretty and calculated words, Raven. I’ve never once wanted that from you. I want your raw, unfiltered truth. Tell me every single one of your fears, so I can take them all away.”
I take off my dress, the sound of fabric hitting the floor disrupting the silence that’s fallen between us. I turn the shower on as I try my hardest to articulate the thoughts that haunt me.
“You want the truth, Ares?”
I step underneath the shower stream and inhale shakily as the warm water hits my skin. I wish he hadn’t followed me in, so I could fall apart in private. I don’t want him to witness my pain.
“I hate who I am around Hannah and you. I hate the thoughts I have, the things I feel. I’m not a bad person, Ares, yet more than once, I wished the child Hannah is expecting didn’t exist.”
Ares’s hands wrap around my waist, and I gasp as he joins me in the shower. He pushes me against the wall and cages me in. “So have I,” he admits, his forehead dropping against mine. “I know the child is innocent, Rave. Of course I know that, but I’ve also wished that she wasn’t pregnant. The happiness we found was so hard-fought, and the last thing I want to do is allow something to threaten that. Is it wrong that your happiness matters more to me than my unborn child does? Perhaps so, but that ismytruth. I’m not a horrible person either, Raven, and I have no doubt you and I will both love this child beyond measure once he or she arrives… but we’re only human, baby.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and he steps closer to me, until our bodies are pressed together, the water raining down on us.
“I’m scared I’ll have to watch you fall for her all over again. I don’t want to watch you care about her and celebrate each pregnancy milestone together. I don’t want to hear about scans and cots and fucking pregnancyvitamins. I don’t want her to have everything that I wanted with you.”
He presses a kiss to my forehead and inhales shakily, his pain apparent. “I’ll do what I can to minimize that kind of thing. With Grandma forcing us to welcome her into our home, that is more complicated than I’d like it to be, but we’ll make it work, Cupcake.”
I tighten my grip on him and hug him tightly. “But you shouldn’t have to, Ares. This is such a beautiful experience, and if not for me, you’d be enjoying every second of it.”
He buries a hand into my hair and tightens his grip. “There’s no point in wondering aboutwhat-ifs, my love. You are mywife, my everything. You always will be. No matter what.”
“I’m scared that just isn’t true. I’m scared I’ll lose you to her all over again. How do I compete with the history you two share? The child you’ll share? The bonds between you are endless, and no matter what angle I look at this from, I’m what stands between two people that have always loved each other. I was always just her stand-in, Ares, and she’s finally ready to take her place by your side. This is everything you’ve ever wanted.” I take a deep breath and look away, wishing I could take back the words I just uttered. I hate it when my insecurities rule me. This isnotwho I am. I barely recognize myself when faced with Hannah and Ares. Will I lose myself if I keep subjecting myself to this?
“No, Raven,” he says, tightening his grip on my hair. “Youare all that I’ve ever wanted. I’ve never been this happy before, baby. You fucking complete me, Cupcake. You’re the part I never realized I was missing. You’re my heart, my soul. It doesn’t matter how many years I spent with Hannah, because just a few months with you brought me more happiness than years with her ever did. If she and I were meant to be together, we’d have made it work, Rave. If I truly loved her, I never would’ve fallen for you, and certainly not so quickly. Hell, if I loved her the way you seem to think I do, I’d never have let her go in the first place. I hear you, baby.I hear you, and I understand your fears, but trust me when I tell you that nothing she could do will make me waver. You’re the only one I’ll ever love, Raven. No man could have you and walk away from you. I know I can’t.”
“But you have,” I snap, my eyes burning with unshed tears. “Youhave, and I’m terrified you’ll do it again. I barely survived it the first time, but it’ll destroy me this time around, Ares. I can’t do this again.”
