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“Is there anything else you need?”
He shook his head.
“If there is anything at all, let us know. Grant wants you to be comfortable here.”
“Thanks.”
“Would you like a tour of the ranch?”
He shook his head. I got the feeling he wanted to be alone. Grant had warned me Blade was struggling to recover from the time he’d spent in enemy hands.
“Jacob will be making dinner if you want to come up to the house, or we can send some over.”
“That’s not necessary.”
“Jacob insists on making sure everyone here is well fed.”
He nodded. “Okay, then.”
“I’ll have Grant text you about it.”
He nodded, and I headed out.
I found Grant and Rhys in the riding ring, working with one of the young horses we were training.
“Did you get Blade settled in?”
“I did. He didn’t talk much, but I think he’s got what he needs.”
“I think he’ll mostly keep to himself, at least for a while, but with him here, I know he’s safe.”
“He’s the man you defied orders to rescue, right?” After a lot of fighting on X’s part, Grant had gotten out of the marines with an other than honorable discharge rather than a dishonorable one. All he’d done was refuse to leave a man behind.
“Yes, and I would do it again in a heartbeat.”
“Damn right,” Rhys said.
I frowned, not sure if I should ask, but my curiosity got the best of me. “What happened to him?”
“Even I don’t know all the details, but whatever horrors he dealt with made him shut down. He didn’t speak at all until my court-martial hearing and since then, never more than a few words that I’m aware of.”
Rhys sighed. “I wish there was something more we could do to help.”
“We’re giving him a home. I think that’s all we can do for now. He’s not willing to work with a therapist yet. Maybe one day he will be, but at least we know he’s safe.”
I spent more time with Blade over the next few weeks. I introduced him to several of the horses, and he was the happiest I’d seen him when he was petting them and giving them treats.
Grant told me Blade crocheted, and I should get him to teach me.
“What? Why would I—”
“Because it’s good for you to learn something new.”
“You mean it’s something to keep my mind off Ghost?”
Grant grinned. “Oh. Yeah. I hadn’t thought of that.”
I flipped Grant off, but I went to Blade’s cabin that afternoon and started learning.
I spent hours with him in near silence making a scarf I might never wear, but it was somehow soothing as hell, and it gave my hands something to do as I wondered when or if I’d hear from Ghost again.
31
GHOST
When I left the hospital, I kept walking. I had no idea where I was going, and I didn’t stop to think about it. I walked for miles, and I still felt numb. I kept telling myself I was doing the right thing. I didn’t deserve to be with Rogue.
There was a little voice inside me that kept calling bullshit, but I ignored it. Listening to it would be too scary. I reminded myself how vulnerable Rogue had looked in that hospital bed. I was going to be in danger again, and I couldn’t risk him trying to save me every time. What if that bullet hadn’t been stopped by his rib? What if I’d had to watch him die right there at the ranch he loved?
He needed to be there with his horses. He deserved that.
You could be there too. You don’t have to keep putting yourself in danger.
It was the only thing I’d ever done well. I was good at moving silently and getting intel or apprehending a target. I had a nearly perfect track record since I’d joined the Bureau. If I wasn’t using my skills, what would I do?
Feed horses. Watch Rogue ride. Protect the men who came to Paradise Ranch.
Yeah, like Grant would hire me.
My phone buzzed. I ignored it, but it started up again, so I pulled it out to look at the screen. It was X.
“Hello?”
“Where the hell are you?”
I looked around. “I’m not sure.”
“Grant told me you’d disappeared.”
“I stayed until I knew Rogue wasn’t in danger, then I left. They needed family time.”
“Gabriel.”
“Don’t call me—”
“You were on an assignment, and you left.”
I did not need to listen to him scold me now. “I need you to send me somewhere else.”
“I don’t think the Bureau is going to go for that.”
Why was he being so fucking difficult? “They will if you tell them to.”
“You don’t have to run from Rogue. Grant told me he’d let you live if you came back, and even Rhys is willing to forgive you for his brother’s sake.”
“It’s for his brother’s sake that I left. I’m a danger to him.”
X snorted. “You’re an idiot.”
