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When we entered the room, the bed had been turned down, and a fresh t-shirt and sweatpants were on the comforter. It took me a moment to realize they were mine.
“How…”
“Rhys went and got your stuff from the hotel.”
“Rhys?”
“Yes, and he was discreet.”
“So he broke into the hotel room and took it?”
“It’s not stealing when he’s getting it for the person who owns it.”
“No, of course not. I just didn’t think… I didn’t think Rhys would do anything for me.”
“You’d be surprised what support you can have even when you’re a bit of an asshole. Ask Grant.”
“Grant is a hard-ass, but no one ever questioned his loyalty.”
“Leaving the marines to do a special operation for the FBI doesn’t make you a bad person.”
“It was shitty the way I did it.”
“Were you given a choice?”
“Not really.”
“Grant knows that even if he wants to be shitty about it.”
“But I left you.”
“Yeah. You did.”
“But now you’re…”
“Willing to help hide you from some gunrunning mobsters and to get you basic medical care?”
I tensed. “Is that all you’re willing to do?”
“I hope not, but we’re going to take things slow this time.”
“I can do that.” I wanted to pull him down on the bed with me and kiss him until he begged for more, but the first time around, he’d played by my rules. Getting him back was worth letting him take charge now.
“Good. Right now you need to elevate your foot.”
“I need to change before I get in bed, and I should shower. I’m gross, but”—it wasn’t easy to say this—“I’m worried I can’t stand up that long.”
“Rest first. You can shower tomorrow, and don’t try to do it by yourself.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Ghost, don’t argue with me.”
He kept his voice firm, but I could tell he was close to losing it. “Look at me, Rogue.” When he did, I saw tears shimmering in his eyes.
“I’m okay. My foot will heal.”
“You didn’t want me putting myself in danger, but you went into this with no backup. No one even knew where you were.”
“I didn’t want you leaping in front of a bullet. That’s different.”
“I was terrified. We had no idea where to find you. We didn’t know if you were dead or alive. We didn’t know if you’d been captured or if you’d gotten away.”
“You were really that worried about me?”
“Fuck yes, I was worried about you.”
“Even after I walked away?”
“You walked away because you were fucking scared. I get that. I would’ve done the same thing.”
“I was scared of you dying because of me. I didn’t want you in danger.”
“I can’t promise I’ll never be in danger. Even if you quit the FBI and spend your time here mucking out stalls. It’s not just a ranch. If we stay here, we’ll be in danger.”
What did he mean if? “You belong here. I would never ask you to leave the horses or your family. You said this is exactly where you want to be.”
“Do you belong here?”
I stopped myself from blurting out an answer and took a moment to think. “Maybe. I want to.”
“Then let’s see how it goes.”
“Rogue, I…”
“There will be plenty of time to talk later.”
I wanted to push. I thought about the first time he’d sneaked out and met me. I thought about chasing him down and how delicious it was to catch him, to hold him down, not because it was easy but because he was strong and capable and able to defend himself. He was so much stronger than he knew, and I had to let him be in charge right now.
He pointed out the water and ibuprofen on the nightstand that someone—probably Jacob—had left for me along with some snacks, the TV remote, and a phone charger.
“Do you need anything else?”
“My gun.”
“Ghost, you—”
“We can’t be sure the men I ran from won’t find me. I can’t move quickly, but I need to be able to defend myself.”
“All right. Just don’t shoot one of us if we come to check on you.”
“I’m not that trigger happy.”
He smiled and bent to kiss my forehead. “Try to get some sleep.”
I frowned up at him. “Where are you going?”
“To get your gun, then back to my room. I want to believe you’re here to stay, but for once in my life, instead of jumping right in, I’m going to go slowly. I’m going to give us some time to trust each other to stay in this and to have each other’s backs.”
“Having my back doesn’t mean dying for me.”
“Maybe not, but what if he’d shot you instead of me, and you hadn’t survived. We’d never have the chance to work all this out.”
I reached for his hand again. “Thank you for saving me.”
36
ROGUE
Once again, I blinked back tears. “You’re welcome.”
I wanted to climb into bed with him so badly, but I left like I’d planned to. Then I lay in bed, unable to sleep. All I could think about was how good it would feel to have his body next to mine. He cared about me, and I cared about—loved—him, but I couldn’t go all in without seeing how things went with him staying here.
