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Finally, I spin around and snap, “What?”
They all stiffen and have the good grace to look embarrassed.
Rayne rubs the back of his head, then sighs loudly. “After you fell asleep last night, we talked.”
My stomach drops.Talked?I’m pretty damn sure there’s only one thing they have to talk about, and it’s a discussion I should’ve been included in. But I wait. Letting these assholes tell me to my face.
Rayne’s gaze meets mine, and he drops his hand, squaring his shoulders that way that means he’s about to say something he knows I won’t like. “The only person who should be able to decide what I do with my life is me, and I’ve decided that I’m going to do as the elder asked. Tonight, if our enemies attack, I’m going to go into the Void, find the king, and take his body.”
“Rayne,” my voice comes out too high, so I take a second to try to sound unemotional and practical, then continue, “we know so little about ghosts, about… what you are now. What if after you leave Adrik’s body, it dies, and you have nothing to go back to? What if the king pushes you out and it accomplishes nothing? We’ll just lose youandPhantom.”
Rayne moves toward me and takes my hands. I yank them back, and he looks troubled, but continues. “This is a situation where every choice has its risks, so I made the choice I felt was best.”
“And I, as your mate, don’t get any say in it?” I feel desperate. I can’t endure the heartache of losing another person I love. And even though that might make me selfish, I just can’t. Not right now.
It’s all just happening too fast. First with Phantom. Now with Rayne.
“Ann, if you could risk your life to save Phantom right now, would you?”
I would, of course I would.“That’s not what we’re talking about!”
“Answer the question,” he says, his voice firm but also kind.
“If I went in there, Phantom would just kill me, or all of you. He’s not himself any longer, so I can’t save him.” I feel tears prickling my eyes and try to brush them away.
“You’re right. There’s nothing you can do to save him, but imagine you could. Would you?” Those light blue eyes of his hold mine, refusing to let me dance around the question.
Damn him!
“Fine! Yes, you know I would!” I throw at him like an insult, even knowing I’m going exactly where he’s leading me. Exactly where I don’t want to go.
He nods. “But you can’t. None of you can. But I have the chance to save him, and I’m going to.”
“No,” I deny, the pressure on my chest unbearable.
He takes a step closer, reaches for me, and strokes my hair gently… and I let him, moving even closer. Begging him with my eyes not to do this. “It has to be my choice and only my choice. I won’t have you all living with this.”
“But we have to live with your choice either way.” My words come out a broken whisper.
He looks grim, but then just leans forward and kisses me. Hard. So hard that I find myself clinging to him when he finally breaks it, and then we’re just staring at each other. “I love you more than anyone in this world.”
“I love you too,” I whisper, and hope blossoms in my heart. Maybe he’s rethinking this. Maybe he’s realizing that there could be another way. “We’ll think. We’ll figure out the best plan.”
He kisses me again, then pulls away, but his hand slips into mine. We walk that way for a while, picking up a couple more moon shards. All of us are silent, probably lost in thought the way I am. My feelings bounce between hopeful and crushed.
I try not to think what would happen if I lost Rayne too. If I lost another man I love and still had to fight this war and find a way to save Phantom… but every time I think about it, I want to scream and cry and curse the world. So, I keep forcing my thoughts away from that painful topic.
Night falls fully, and we don’t light torches. They’re too dangerous now. And there’s enough light from the moon to at least illuminate most of the spaces in front of us. Unfortunately, it’s not just tripping over something that we have to worry about. When it’s fully dark, our enemies can come for us, and after being silent for a few days, I have no doubt tonight they’ll reappear.
Onyx leads our group, communicating with hand signals. We move slower, collecting another random moon shard and making our way closer to the Void. The massive black cloud has so many different directions that they can come out of on earth, but the back of it borders a massive canyon, so that, at least, helps limit them… a little.
Suddenly, Onyx motions for us to stop.
We do, but I peer slowly through the trees to the Void. The terrible cloud looms, even in the night, rolling and moving like storm clouds. Nothing seems to have emptied out of it, but I trust these men. They were fighting these creatures long before I came along.
Slowly, a grave troll emerges from the Void. The bastard is huge. Dusk had told me they were born in places of terrible pain and suffering, areas where people had died. Their bodies were made up of hundreds of pieces of dead people that come together to create a Frankenstein of a creature. This one is no exception, and as he stands, his nostrils flaring, his black sword thrown on his back like a club, my heart races.
The creatures always do that to me. No matter how many times I see them.
