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“Yeah.”
Phantom’s eyes flash, his jaw ticks, and Dusk glances down at me.
“I’ll explain when we get back to the cave.” I don’t wait for him to agree. I can’t. I need these few minutes to organize my thoughts, to make sense of everything I haven’t had time to digest. I just have to figure out a way to explain this that makes sense to all of us.
TWO
Phantom
My thoughts are a mess,even more so than my aching body. Battle is never easy, not on the mind or the body, but especially when I'm fighting my brethren. It’s somehow much worse than fighting my father. For a short time, I tried not to hurt the shadow beasts controlled by my father, knowing that if they were free, they would never fight us. But that notion was dashed away pretty quickly when I realized fighting one of my own, while trying not to hurt them, was a good way to end up dead.
Still, every time I look into their faces, I wonder who they are. The baker who snuck me treats as a boy? A maid who cared for our home? Friends? Boys who grew into men right alongside me?
It’s a cruel thing to wonder these things, so I try not to, as impossible a thing as that is. Instead, I try to see them as just an extension of my father, because it’s the only way to not lose my mind as I end them. They arenotmy people, trapped in their beast-form, unable to escape. They are enemies.
And if we can win this war, maybe I’ll be able to free them.
At least what’s left of them.
With time I've accepted that the man I once loved, once placed on a pedestal, is not a good man. He's enslaved my fellow shadow beasts, all but the small pack that stands with us on earth. And no good person has ever enslaved others. That means that all the pleasant memories I have of my father when I was a boy no longer matter. That man is dead and gone. All that remains is a dangerous enemy.
But still, seeing him is only a touch easier.
Not that war is ever easy.
The tunnel we’ve entered is silent as our haggard group makes its way back to our little cave, past the section that connects to the main cave. Sometimes it's strange to me that we chose this cave away from the rest of our people. At first it was mostly out of shame. Had we been smarter, had we seen the truth in our father sooner, none of this would have happened. But it was more than shame that kept us away after that. It was knowing that our people weren't as comfortable around us royals. It created a tension in the main cave that was palpable, and our people already have enough to deal with without being uncomfortable in their would-be home. And then, finally, it was because with our father’s anger mostly directed at us, we hoped to keep him from finding their home.
Which has worked. Even if it has the price of keeping some distance between us and our people.
When we reach the hidden cave entrance, Adrick—no, Adrick's soul was consumed by the smoke dragon—Rayne, Ranye in his body, says, "Allow me," like he's welcoming us into a castle rather than approaching our cave.
It irritates me, but I keep my mouth shut, watching the man as he moves forward. Adrik is a big man, not nearly as big as the three of us, but large like all shadow beasts. His hair is light brown, cut short, which is uncommon for our people. His weeks spent lying in a cave, his body wasting away, had weakened his muscles... but apparently, not as much as I would have thought.
Rayne, because that’s who this is now, moves the boulder protecting the hidden tunnel’s entrance with only a little difficulty. When he's done, he turns to us with a grin. A grin that doesn't make sense after our battle, after the loss of my men, after seeing my father again. It's as if this man has no concept of war and of life and death, even though he himself was dead.
Dead. It's still hard for me to wrap my mind around.
"After you," he says, his grin now falling away, as he waves us forward.
Still feeling irritated, I allow Ann and Dusk to stagger in, followed by Onyx, and then I come through at the rear, eyeing this Rayne critically as I do. When the boulder rumbles back into place, leaving only a small amount of space for Rayne's hands, I try not to feel irritated that he seems to know how things are done around here. Because that probably means this ghost has been haunting our Ann and watching us.
Kneeling down, I stoke the embers of our fire higher, carefully, then add fuel to the flames until it's crackling once more. My body still aches, but not like it did right after I’d been healed, which I’m grateful for. At least I don’t have to appear weak in front of this man.
Ann has helped Dusk to lay down on his blankets. She pulls off his bloody, torn shirt, then goes to a bucket of water we keep in one corner and begins to slowly clean the blood off of him, staring at his chest as if to check for more damage. Dusk's eyes close, and he lies back on the blankets, his face tense.
My mind goes back to him during the battle. He was marked for death. He should have died. And now, because of our Ann, he's lying down being touched by the woman he loves. It's good, but it's confusing.
"Onyx? Phantom? How are your injuries?" She doesn't look up from where I sit, watching her.
Onyx signs,What does she want me to say? There's always pain after battles.
I sign back to him,She wants to help us.
So that she won't feel guilty when she leaves with herrealmate?Onyx's words are harsh, filled with an anger I understand.
He stares at me, waiting for my answer, maybe my reassurance, but I don't have it right now. My mind is still on the battle, almost as if it can’t handle what this man means to our already chaotic world.
"Is there anything to eat?" Rayne asks.
