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“I’m not hanging on. She didn’t even know I was still... in this world, until today.” I don’t know that it matters.
“Without you, her heartache will fade eventually.” At least he gives me that.Eventually.Not that tomorrow she'll replace me with those three big men, which I'm sure he wants to say. “But if the boys all die, she won’t stop grieving. Whether it’s the prophecy or the emotion, she won’t recover. And she’ll never forgive herself. Or you.” He cocks a brow and I’m measured by the look.
“This isn’t her fight. Or mine. And we’ve put ourselves in danger, almost died.” Ididfucking die. I don’t know that reminding him is purposeful, but I cock my head and breathe out. It’s done. He’s reminded.
“Rayne, in all your vast years of life and death…” Oh, this man knows the power of words, “have you ever known a ghost to take a body permanently?” He stares with one eyebrow cocked, lips parted, breath in one sturdy huff. Every move of his body, every turn of his head and blink of his eyes judges me, makes me the inferior party here.
I sigh. The weight of all this is crushing to my soul—the only part of me not up for discussion with Auero. “This is different. And you know it just like I do.” The accusation is heavy in my voice. “I took the shell of a body. There was no soul in here fighting me for space.”
Auero stares. “Are you sure?”
“What am I supposed to do if I’m not sure?” It’s my turn to shake my head. “Leave her now?”
“No. By all means, wait until the body rejects you and thrusts your soul away. Leave her alone so she has to face your death a second time.” The old man knows sarcasm.
So that is what he wants? For me to turn around and leave now because... because it'll be easier for all of them? Does he not understand fated mates? Does he not realize that would hurt Ann just as much as seeing me actually leave this body?
No, it's too late. I'm not leaving Ann. Not until I have to. Not ever again.
And yet, is he wrong about everything else?
“What then?” I’m shouting because I’m frustrated. And I’m frustrated because he’s right and I don’t know what to do. Maybe I need his advice. He’s an elder. Made it to the ripe age of… who fucking knows. But he made it. And that means he’s seen a lot. Heard a lot. And if he’s never seen a soul take an empty body and survive it, then maybe listening to him is in my best interest. But he’s actually suggesting that I leave her. And he knows I came back for her. “What do you want from me?”
“If you die again, Ann will be alone whether you like it or not. Unless she has them. The men she's destined to be with, just as much as she was destined to be with you. Only, your time with her was cut short. Theirs doesn't have to be.” His voice is low, quiet, the punctuation to end a conversation. If his statement hadn’t ended it, walking away would’ve.
No matter how much I hate it, he’s right. My situation isn’t guaranteed. There is no promise I’ll live ten minutes, much less be able to guarantee a lifetime. And she would be alone. There’s no way I can leave her to that fate.
“Fuck.” There isn’t much more I can say.
“And what about that light of hers? The one that destroyed a creature as powerful as a smoke dragon? The first thing to hurt the king?”
My thoughts sharpen. My sister had always been more of the adventurer, running with the monsters on our lands, talking with the ghosts in the graveyard. I’d always been the one to like books, reading, researching, and, well, making observations based on my research. Through my investigation at the Royal Fae Academy I’d learned that light fae weren’t just what we thought we were. Yes, we fed on good emotions. Yes, we could create glamours and grow plants. But there was more to us, so much more. I focused my research mainly on the difference between light and dark fae, and our powers, but there were other things. Legends about why the light fae were called light fae.
But now, I can’t quite remember what the books had said. It hadn’t seemed important at the time. Yet after seeing what Ann had done, I wonder if I’d read something about that particular power… the ability to control light. If it was a common power we no longer knew how to access, a rare one, or just a legend.
I don’t know.
All I know is that her powers surprised me. Maybe even scared me a little. If she could do that, maybe she could defeat this king of shadows. But if she was the only one who could stand against him, that also meant she was in the most danger of anyone here. And I couldn’t stomach the thought of her in danger.
“You know something,” the elder says, and I realize I’ve been lost in my head for too long. My sister always said I was in my head more than I was ever in this world. Something that would make me smile, but I’m not smiling now.
“I’m not sure.”
His gaze narrows. “Can you control the light too?”
My stomach flips, and despite myself, I reach for my magic. Only, it’s not there.
Every muscle in my body stiffens. I try again. Turning away from the elder, I reach my hand out and point it at a flower. As a child of powerful fae, my ability to control nature was always easy, like breathing, not at all the struggle it was for Ann. But still, nothing happens.
“I-I don’t think I have magic in this body.” I speak the words aloud before I even process them myself.
No magic? That’s impossible.Magic has always come easily to me. It’s like part of my soul.Without it, who the hell am I?
When I turn back to the elder, he’s frowning. “Perhaps because you’re no longer technically a fae.”
Is he right? Am I… am I a shadow beast now? If I return home, will I even be recognized by my kind as one of them? Will my parents accept me as their son?My sister… my sister would love me in the body of a duck, but everyone else… even if I return home, I may not be able to convince them. And that means no longer being able to provide Ann with the life she deserves.
“Fuck,” I mutter.
