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PROLOGUE
Allison
Say you’re sorry.
As if the words mean something.
Say you won’t do it again.
And pretend like you mean it.
You know you hurt me.
But that’s what you wanted.
And you’ll do it again …
And that’s fine.
Because it’s what I’m after.
There are moments that define you. As I stand outside of the house I’ve rented two blocks from the university’s dorms, one night in particular keeps coming back to me.
That one night, six years ago, is what brought me here.
It’s the night that made me who I am.
DEAN
SIX YEARS AGO
“‘Suck my dick?’” Principal Talbot asks as she stares at me with a serious expression. “Did you really tell Mrs. Pearson tosuck your dick?” She’s pissed, and that makes her question all the more comical.
Not that I wanted to cause more problems with my teachers, but come on, is it really that serious? They’re just words.
She slams the window in her office shut, hushing the sounds of the students walking just outside the room. The bell rang only a minute ago, but everyone’s already running from class and eager to get the hell away from Stewart High, a private school on the east side of town. That’s the real problem. This place is full of uptight a-holes.
My fingers itch to be out there too, so I can sneak in a smoke before I have to go home. Everyone says it’s so damn bad for you, but it’s one of the only things keeping me sane. If I have to keep going through the motions and playing along, I’d rather do it stoned.
My lips twitch with the threat of a smirk but I make sure I keep a passive look on my face. I shrug and lean back in my chair as I glance over my shoulder toward her office door. “I said I was sorry.”
“Do you think this is funny?” she asks me, her nostrils flaring as she stands up from her chair. She slams both hands down on her desk and leans over it to glare at me. “Do you think this is some sort of game?” With every word, her voice gets louder.
My spine stiffens, and I feel the familiar anger rising. It’s not for her. Or Mrs. Pearson, for that matter. It’s just that I’m so used to being screamed at. My body’s ready for what’s next.
I scratch my shoulder blade and try not to show anything other than a relaxed posture. I won’t let any of them get to me.
“It’s school, Miss Talbot. School is certainly not a game,” I answer her with a solemn tone and square my shoulders, folding my hands in my lap although my foot taps anxiously on the floor. Maybe I’m baiting her but then again, maybe I don’t give a fuck. I don’t want to be here any more than they want me here.
It’s only a matter of time until my mother or stepfather comes through the door. I anticipate it swinging open but at the same time, I’m not sure if they’ll even bother to show.
“Three schools this year, Dean. You’ve already been kicked out of two and now you’re on your way to being kicked out of your third. Are you looking to set a record?” the principal asks me.
I don’t answer her. It’s rhetorical anyway.
I’m sure she has a speech prepared and I’d just hate to interrupt her.
I like being quiet. Pops used to say if you’re quiet long enough, the words you finally say have more impact. Sometimes I think he only told me that so I’d shut up.
