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Her response makes the small bit of relief wash away.Maybe I do.
I just worry about you, she texts me and then adds,I know it has to bring back memories and other unpleasant things.
It does. But it also feels like a relief in a way. And so much more than that.
Are you dating?she asks.
I roll my eyes at that question. She knows better.I don’t date.
She sends back an emoji rolling its eyes and a genuine snicker leaves me.
Just take care of yourself, will you?
She’s a good friend and I know better than to think she’d be anything other than concerned.
You burst my bubble, I tell her and I really mean it.
* * *
Five years ago
Tyler’s lipsslip down to the crook of my neck. He knows just the spot that makes me wet for him.
My palms push against his chest and the motion makes my body sink deeper into the mattress beneath him.
“Spread your legs.” He gives the command against my skin, making me hotter … needier. But my eyes dart to the door and then back to him.
“But your brothers,” I whisper as if my words are a secret.
Tyler pulls away, breathless and panting with need. He always makes love to me wildly. Like it’s all he needs. Each time is quick, but he takes care of me first. I bite down on my bottom lip as he hovers over me and then looks over his shoulder at the door.
“They don’t care,” he tells me and I can only swallow the lump in my throat.
One brother cares. I know he does. He looks at me like I’m a whore whenever I stay over here. And I haven’t even slept with Tyler under the Cross roof yet.
“I don’t want them to think I’m staying over just so we can have sex.”
“They don’t think that.” Tyler smiles and brushes the hair from my face as I pull the covers up closer around me. I still have my nightgown on; Tyler’s just pulled the fabric up around my waist.
“What if they think I’m using you so I don’t have to go back home? Like I’m spreading my legs just so I can have a place to stay.” I heard a girl say that at school a week ago and the thought hasn’t left me. It’s true I don’t want to go back. But I’m not a whore either.
“I have to fucking beg you to stay here, Addie. They can hear that. They know that. And we’ve been dating for how long now?”
Almost six months to the day he first tapped on my shoulder in science class.
The uneasiness still doesn’t leave me and I stare at the door until Tyler’s hand cups my chin.
“We can be quiet,” he whispers and lowers his lips to mine.
My eyes close and I let myself feel his warmth and comfort.
“Just kiss me,” he tells me as he slips his hand between my legs, parting my thighs for him.
I keep my eyes shut and try to be quiet. My muffled moans carried through the walls though and so did the unmistakable sounds and steady rhythm of Tyler fucking me.
I know because of the way Daniel looked at me late that night when I snuck into the hall to use the bathroom.
My hand was on the doorknob when he opened his bedroom door. Caught in his heated gaze, I couldn’t move; I couldn’t breathe. He let his stare trail down my nightgown before looking back into my eyes.
