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My own indecent thoughts keep me from responding quickly enough. So she storms over to the leather chair in the corner of the room and sits down angrily, crossing her legs and then her arms.
Of course that’s what she thought. It’s what this started out as. But she’s fooling herself if she thinks what we have could ever be anything so shallow. Even I can admit it. “I’m not leaving until you talk to me,” she demands and it’s cute. She’s so fucking adorable thinking she can make demands like that. My bare feet sink into the rug as I make my way to the chair opposite hers.
With the blinds closed, the only light in the room is that of the tall lamp in the corner.
“Say something, please. I feel awful. I didn’t expect you to react the way you did.” She leans forward and grips the armrests of the chair. “The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you,” she confesses and I know she’s telling the truth. Addison isn’t a liar.
And that gives me hope.
“I don’t know what I want, other than you.” My voice comes out rough as I lean forward and put my elbows on my knees so I can sink down to her eye level.
“What does that mean?” she asks breathlessly. Her chest rises and falls as if my answer is everything she’s ever needed. The only thing she’s ever desired.
Licking my lower lip, I stare into her eyes but the words don’t come. I don’t know how else to say it. I want her.
I want her to be mine. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.
Not just in my bed. I want her touches, her kisses, her intentions. Moving forward, I want each piece of her. Every little piece. I want them all.
More than that, I want her to give them to me.
Her words spin chaotically, as do her emotions. “I need something to hold on to, Daniel, and this, this is intense and overwhelming and emotional-”
“But do you want it?” I cut her off, asking the simple question.
“Why did you come get me in that bar? Don’t lie to me. You knew I’d be there, didn’t you?” she asks me and I don’t know if she knows more than she should, or if she’s just that damn good at knowing who I am.
I lean back in my seat and decide to be careful with my words as I slowly say, “I wanted you for so long.”
“So that’s all this is? You wanted to fuck me, so you finally did?
“You already know that’s a lie.” My words come out like a vicious sting and she drops the act. “I know you feel this too.” I finally speak the words that feel as if they’ll break me. But they’re true. “There’s always been something between us.”
Addison’s expression is pained.
“I know you feel guilty admitting it, Addison. I do too. I’m just as much to blame.” She doesn’t know how true those words are.
Time wears on and more than a moment passes. Addison pulls her knees into her chest and all I want to do is grab her ass and pull her into my lap. But my fingers dig into the leather, pinning me where I am until I have the only answer I need from her.
“Do you want me?” I ask her.
“It’s not that easy,” she whimpers. Torn between the desire she feels and the guilt she won’t let go of.
My body tenses and the rage from knowing the past may forever darken my future takes over as I lean forward. “The fuck it isn’t.”
I have to close my eyes and focus on what I want, what she needs to hear. I speak so low I’m not sure she can hear me, but I pray she can. “I can’t tell you what will happen a week from now, but I know I’ll still want you.” I open my eyes to find her watching me intently as I continue, “I’ve always wanted you. It’s not going to stop, and I don’t care about anything that happened yesterday as long as I get you tomorrow.”
“When did you turn into this man?” Addison’s question is quiet, but full of sincerity. “I don’t remember any of this from you.”
The answer is right there. So obvious to me.
Because she wasn’t mine and couldn’t be.
“You were young, and belonged to someone else.” I can’t bring myself to speak Tyler’s name. The alcohol and thought of losing her if he comes up again is too much.
Before she can respond to the omission I ask her the only thing that matters, “Do you want me?”
Her green eyes shine with sincerity as she barely whispers the word, “Yes.” She bites down on her lip as I rise from my seat and make my way to her. Slowly and carefully, with each step knowing I’m so close to keeping her.
