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The ping of my phone distracts me from the conversation. Sebastian’s here with me, so it must be Angie. Pulling it out, I see I’m right.
Where the hell are you? Stop being a bitch and answer me!
Angie certainly has a way with words.
I’m not coming in. I send her the response and then think better of it and add,I’m sorry. I’m just not feeling all that well today.
Before she can reply, I silence my phone and slip it back into my purse. She wouldn’t understand. She’d think I’m crazy. Shit, I think I’m crazy. My heart beats a little faster at remembering the pure fear that ran through me when I saw Tamra died. My name was on the bottom of that list. If someone else made a list like mine, would my name be on theirs too?
The chill from the air conditioner comes back and I let my head fall back with my eyes closed, suppressing the urge to feel anything at all. I’d rather be numb to it all. Goosebumps prick along my skin once again, slowly this time. It’s just the chill, I tell myself. It’s definitely from the air conditioner.
“Who’s that?”
Sebastian’s question distracts me from my thoughts and I open my eyes slowly to tell him, “Nobody.”
“So, nobody texted you?” Sebastian asks with what feels like a touch of jealousy. I’m ashamed by the way my body reacts. I feel a heat that swells from the pit of my stomach, rising up but also moving lower. Forcing a small smile to my lips, I answer him, “Just a friend.”
When his expression doesn’t change, I roll my eyes at him and say, “I finally got one of those.” My answer is pitiful, but I own it. I don’t care that I’m a loner who prefers books and writing and hiding away in my stories. Books are cheap, and the people in them are better than the ones I have left here.
He looks like he’s going to say something else, but he doesn’t. He finishes his drink and then reaches for his wallet.
“I can buy lunch,” I offer. “After all, I kind of ruined your day.” He cocks a brow and doesn’t answer me. Instead he puts some cash down on the table, more than enough to pay for both of us.
“I said I can get this one,” I tell him and reach for the cash to shove it back to him, but he snatches my wrist. Electricity shoots through me, the desire returning with a blazing force.
He releases me slowly and I bring my wrist back to me, staring at it as if it’s been singed. I’m reeling in the shivers that flow through my body.
“I pay,” is all he says, with a forcefulness that spikes desire through me. I can’t break his gaze, I can’t speak.
“I want to,” he adds in a gentler tone.
“How do you do this to me?” I ask him, but then I think of a different question. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because I want to.” He uses the same intensity as before, but somehow his words come out softer, almost comforting. The tension is thick between us and I wonder if he feels the same pull I do. “Why did you come to see me?” he asks me, and the question breaks the spell, my eyes falling to the table and the realization that the lunch is over. That this moment is only temporary, just like Sebastian’s presence in my life.
“Because I wanted to,” I offer him a similar response, shrugging and then pulling up the baggy sleeves to my t-shirt. How is it that hours have passed, and I’ve only just now realized I’m in my pajamas? I didn’t even bother to put on mascara. I always put on mascara, I look so much younger without it.
“Are you going to tell me why you’re doing this?” I ask him again, feeling irritated by everything, especially my reaction to the series of events that happened today.
“I just wanted to have a nice meal with you.” Hearing those words from him makes me smile and let out a short laugh. My mirth doesn’t wane when he looks at me with confusion, instead, it only makes me grin harder. Maybe I truly am crazy.
“What’d I say?” he asks, and I just shake my head, taking a peek at him while lowering my lips to have a sip of Coke from the straw.
I let the bubbling fizz relax me and then straighten myself to tell him, “Just the thought of you having a nice lunch and then heading off to your nine-to-five job.”
The charming grin grows on his face, revealing his perfect white teeth. “Don’t you know I’m a hardworking, blue-collar type of man?”
I hold his gaze and keep my smile in place as I tell him, “I know who you are, Sebastian Black.”
My taunting doesn’t get me the reaction I’m after. Instead, he slips his mask back into place, hiding from me.
My next breath is accompanied by a long stretch and then I take another drink. A coldness sets in between us. I can feel it coming. It used to come so often when we were forced to be together. The moment he knew he’d let me in, he’d shut it down.
I should have known better than to think it would last. Maybe I didn’t think it would, but I sure as fuck want it to.
“Something is truly wrong with me,” I speak the thought without conscious consent.
“You’re a product of your environment,” Sebastian answers me. He sinks back against the booth and stares at me long and hard. The fake, thin leather protests as he watches the front door.
