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If I had even a hint that he’d still respect me after, I’d climb into his lap right now.
“It’s all right.” His voice is strong, but also frustrated and it reminds me of that day back in high school. He’s barely keeping it together as he takes me in.
“I’m sorry.” I don’t know what else to do other than apologize. “I don’t want to be this way,” I plead with him to understand. “I think when I drank the--”
“It’s not the sweets. It’s what’s going on around us. This shit is bringing up old memories. The drug is just a knockoff pharmaceutical. Most people don’t even know about it. It’s like any other sleep med, Chlo. A friend gave it to me to sell, but no one buys sleep meds off the street.”
“You don’t understand,” I tell him.
“Make me understand.”
I think long and hard about exactly how to explain it. It’s not an old memory. These terrors are so real and lifelike, they don’t leave me when I wake up. “I’m scared,” is all I can say, and the confession comes out as a whisper.
“I want you to come spend the night with me,” Sebastian speaks like it’s a request, but it’s not. I can hear it in his voice and along with the shock is something else.
Desperation.
I can’t move, thinking I’ve misheard him. All I can do is stare into his eyes and listen to every single beat of my heart.
“It’s in my best interest to keep an eye on you,” he tells me slowly and then licks his lower lip. It’s slow and sensual but there’s something else there like he can’t quite figure something out. “You look like you could use some company. It’ll do us both good.”
He givesme five minutes to gather a few things. It hardly takes me that long as I toss my toiletries on top of a stack of folded clean clothes and grab my purse. That’s it. I don’t bother with anything else.
We’re not driving far, but even so, the car ride is quiet in a way that absorbs my every thought. Sebastian Black… and me. Maybe one day I’ll wake up and all of this will be a dream. Or maybe one day, he’ll come with me and we can run away from this nightmare.
“Haven’t you ever thought about leaving?” I let the internal thought wander to my lips as I rest my cheek against the car window. The hum of the engine and the gentle vibrations threaten to lure me to sleep, but I fight it.
“You don't think I want to leave too?” he asks me, taking his eyes from the road to look at me. I don’t answer, I just take him in, right here at this moment. The strength that is Sebastian Black, veiled with the secret that he’d rather run away. My heart hurts for him in this instant; I always thought he ran this city and that he thrived because of it. How foolish I was. I realize that now as he tells me, “When you figure out where you're going to run to, let me know.”
SEBASTIAN
Ididn’t even think to be embarrassed or ashamed until Chloe stopped in the foyer. All I was thinking was that I was done leaving her alone. I don’t have a good feeling about any of this shit and I just want to keep her close. I never considered what she’d think of my place though. Or what she’d think of me.
“Welcome home,” I tell her as I toss my keys onto the skinny kitchen counter next to the pile of unopened mail I got yesterday.
There’s a sofa, a coffee table, and a TV. Nothing else in this room. It’s never looked bare before, until now. It’s never felt like it was lacking in any way until I see Chloe not moving from where she is.
The sofa came with throw pillows I didn’t like, so I tossed them out, but there’s a standard bed pillow and an old blanket in a heap on the far end of the sofa. That’s where Carter sleeps when he needs a place to crash.
This house is small, with only one bedroom and the kitchen is the size of a freaking dime, directly across from the living room. But I paid with cash and I own it. That’s the only thing I was looking for when I knew I needed to leave my ma’s old place. There was too much shit there. Too much of the past cluttering and smothering my every thought.
“Not what you expected?” I ask her dully and keep walking to the sofa to take off my shoes.
I have a nice car and nice threads for when I need them. All my cash is hidden in the floorboard under my cabinet sink. I don’t spend anything I don’t have to. You never know when you may need to run, and I’ll have the cash for that, make no mistake about it.
“You’re such a man. You could at least grab a candle at the corner store or something. Maybe hang a picture?” she suggests, and her lips pull up into a teasing smile.
She finally walks into the room, kicking off her shoes next to mine and slipping into the side of the sofa Carter usually takes. She goes to grab his blanket, but I stop her. It’s weird seeing her gravitate to his things. And to want his things.
“You can have the bed,” I offer her and then add, “That’s Carter’s stuff.”
“Oh.” A shyness spreads through her expression as she gently pushes it away. “Sorry,” she adds and then clears her throat. “Do you have a throw for out here?” she asks.
“You like being under the covers, don’t you?” I ask teasingly, and it makes her smile as she nods. I like that. I like how I can make her smile. I like that even when she’s worked up and upset. When her mind is wandering to disturbing things, I can make her smile and give her something to take away the pain.
“Let me grab you the other blanket,” I say as I stand up. There’s a small linen closet outside of the bathroom, and I have my old blanket in there.
“I don’t know that the Cross boys like me much,” she tells me from the living room even though I can barely hear her in here.
