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“Stop it!” he yells at me, so loudly, it shakes me. My body’s trembling as I try to get a grip. I have no one and no idea when it’s coming. There’s one more person before me if Dave is really dead. That’s all I know.
“I don’t want to live here anymore.”
“Then what do you want to do?” he asks me with a hard look that would force me to be silent if it were on anyone else’s face.
“I want to run away… for good.” My body is numb as I hold my breath, waiting for him to say anything at all, but my chest squeezes with a new kind of pain when he says nothing.
“Please say something,” I beg him.
“You have no idea what lengths I would go for you. But you need to stop this, please. Don’t do this. Please, Chlo, for me.” His words are a plea that rubs salt in the sharpest and deepest wounds I have.
“You don’t understand.” I take in a quick breath and then another, feeling lightheaded as I confess, “I heard my mom screaming for help and did nothing. I did nothing.” I search his eyes for understanding, but also for the hate I felt for myself so long ago. “Whoever is killing them… if it has to do with her… they’re going to come for me.”
“Chloe, please,” he tries to silence me, to brush it off again and I push his arm away instead of accepting the comfort that comes with his touch.
“I don’t feel safe here,” I tell him while backing away. “I won’t stay here any longer.” The words themselves are both freeing and suffocating.
I’ve never belonged here; I’ve always wanted a way out.
But I’ve always belonged to Sebastian. In every way. And the idea of running, to never see him again, is the most painful thing I could ever feel.
“Please,” I beg him, not just to understand but to come with me.
“If you can’t come with me,” I try to be strong, to force the words out, but instead I turn into a blubbering fool. Covering my heated face with both of my hands, I feel the tears burn into my flesh.
“I’ll never let you leave me,” he tells me, and it only makes me cry harder. Because I don’t want him to let me go, I want him to come with me. I need him to come with me. “I don’t want to leave you.” I gasp for air and give him a singular truth in a despite whisper, “I can’t leave you.”
He pulls me in close to him, even though I’m no help at all, covering my face and ashamed of what I’ve become.
“I just need time,” he answers me and my head shakes of its own accord.
“I can’t… I can’t stay here anymore.” The last words come out strangled as tears prick my eyes. I can’t stay, but I can’t leave without him either.
I swear I could be a better person. I could be happy and sane. But not here. All I am here is a name on a list. Waiting for my death.
“I love you, Chloe. I love you.” Sebastian’s voice is soothing as he wraps both of his arms around me. I crave his touch so much that I bury my head into his chest. He whispers, “I can take you away. We can leave tomorrow.”
My body stills, my heart beating far too loud to be sure of what I heard.Please, let me have heard right.I can barely manage to swallow as I look into his steely blue eyes, praying he’s telling me the truth and not just saying what he knows I want to hear.
He kisses my hair and then brushes it away from my face as he repeats himself, “I can run away with you.”
“I love you, Bastian. I love you.” The words tumble from my lips. “Please tell me you’re telling the truth.” I interlock my fingers with his, needing to feel him and know that he means it. “I want to run away with you.”
“I love you,” he tells me, his gaze never straying from mine, “we can’t stay here. I can’t stay here anymore.”
SEBASTIAN
Idid this to her.
But I wouldn’t take it back.
I wouldn’t take it back because I have her now. I’ll run away with her, as far as she wants. I’ll hold her every night and watch her fall asleep in my arms.
Always.
She’ll never be without me again.
“Is there anyone you still want to talk to?” I ask her as I figure out every detail. Every single thing that has to be done before we leave. She’s nestled in the crook of my arm in my bed, her small frame curved around my side. Her hair brushes my arm while she shakes her head. “No,” she whispers. Clearing her throat, she adds, “I just want to leave.”
