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The metal links of the strap clink as they hit one another, and I force myself to focus on that, rather than the sound of James leaving the kitchen.
My teeth and fists are still clenched, the skin pulled taut over my knuckles.
“You tell me,sweetheart,” she says, mocking Daniel but her confidence is barely there, and her focus is split between us and watching James’s back.
“Shot?” Daniel asks as the music plays the word over and over.Another round of shots.
Her eyes flicker from me to him and as she parts her lips to respond, I interject. “Come on,” I tell her, grabbing her wrist and shrugging Daniel off of me.
He hovers for a moment as she stares back at me, ripping her arm away.
The tension grows and the air goes still and quiet; even the fucking music seems to dim as she considers whether or not to listen to me.
Shit, I guess it doesn’t matter either way.
I can see it written on her face. She’s running. From me and what we had. She only came here to tell me as much. Least she could do is to not say it in front of them.
“Lead the way, Neanderthal,” she says sarcastically, avoiding Daniel’s piercing gaze. Like he’s her fucking protector. I can see it. He’s watching the two of us like he knows shit’s about to go down. Judging by the way everyone averts their gaze when I look at them, he’s not the only one thinking that.
I ignore him as much as she does and lead her to the door, not really touching her, just staying close as we walk outside.
The music dies the second the door shuts and the sticky heat of the late summer air and faint sounds of crickets from the woods behind us surround us.
I could use a drag. It’s been ages since I’ve had a smoke but right now, I’m hit hard with the need for a cigarette.
“What’s wrong with you?” Allie asks me the moment she turns on her heels to face me.
“Where have you been?” I question her in return. “We came back Sunday. You missed two classes, texted me back with one-word answers and have been blowing me off.” I pace on the small cement landing in front of the door. “I mean, I knew shit was off on the way home, but all I asked from you was for you to be honest.”
“What wasn’t honest?” Allie bites back with anger. Good. I hope she’s pissed like I am.
“You don’t have to lie to be dishonest,” I say and even in my drunken stupor, I know that those words make more sense than any excuse she can come up with.
“Yeah, well, I wanted to tell you something anyway,” she starts and I scoff at her.
“I gave you the fucking over you needed, huh?”
She shakes her head, that gorgeous hair of hers swirling around her shoulders as the heat climbs and I run a hand through my hair. No matter how put together she is, her eyes can’t lie to me. She can look pissed or like she doesn’t care. But her eyes have the same sad look in them they did at the hotel.
“What are you talking about?” Exasperation is clear in her voice.
“You want to be with me or not, Allie?” I ask her the only question I need an answer to and her plump lips part slightly, the immediate answer begging to slip from them, but she stops herself, slamming her mouth shut and swallowing the words.
“I knew it,” I tell her and feel pathetic. I’m not the pathetic one, though. This is on her. She’s the one running from this. She’s the one who’s scared.
“It’s not you,” she says with way too little emotion in her voice. Like it doesn’t even matter.
“Oh, it’s not me, it’s you?” I ask with a bitter taste in my mouth. “Is that what you’re going for? Really? You can be more creative than that.” She flinches at the anger in my voice. “Come on Allie, I’ll give you a minute to come up with something better,” I sneer and lean into her. I’m pissed. I’m so fucking pissed.
It’s easier than being hurt.
Everyone pushes me away because they don’t want me. She wants me. I know she does. And still, I can’t hold on to her.
“How about the fact that you were ready to get into a goddamn brawl when I walked in. How about that?”
“How about it?” I ask back. I don’t remember quite what happened or what she knows. All I remember is that someone said something that they deserved to be punched for. I don’t tell her that though, I stand there like an ass, waiting for her to fill me in on what the hell happened.
I shouldn’t have drunk so much. If I’d known she was coming, I wouldn’t have.
