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“Sure,” he says, pulling out his phone. He sniffs as he scrolls through. “I keep a good one of us on my phone, although most of them are on my hard drive.”
His fingers stop and he freezes, staring at his screen before he turns it to me.
My heart drops, seeing it.
It’s their wedding picture. Amy is freakin’ gorgeous.
She stands next to Jackson in a lacy, long-sleeved gown, holding a bouquet of white flowers, the most elegant bride I’ve ever seen. She’s tall and slender, with dark hair curled around her shoulders. Her skin is clear, and her makeup minimal. I see a hint of a gold ring on her left hand, and my stomach clenches.
His ring on her finger.
My eyes drift to young Jackson next. He’s clean-shaven with a big smile, bigger than I’ve ever seen on him. His hair is shorter than it is now, even with my haircut, and he looks so handsome in a brown suit with an off-white tie. They are both so young and happy, and the way Jackson holds her in the photo gives me goosebumps. I’m getting a glimpse of how he was before.
When he was happy.
He tucks the phone away and sniffles, staring out to the lake. The wind has died down, and now it’s calm and the surface looks like glass.
I glance at my phone. Twelve-oh-one.
“Happy New Year,” I say.
“Happy New Year,” he repeats, looking out to the lake. He still holds me, and I’m warm in his arms. I cannot get used to this. I am just a stand-in for the woman he wants with him on this day. That woman who made him so happy in the picture.
“Why did you come?” Jackson asks.
“You asked me to,” I say. “I care about you.”
“You care about me?” he repeats.
“Yes, very much.”I think I love you.No matter how messed up you are, every time you touch me, I go weak. However, I don’t think you care about me in the same way and rightfully so. You’ve already had one love of your life, and there’s only room for one of those.
My words hang in the stillness of the night, the gravity of his story and words. I know I should pull back, that I should save my heart from inevitable heartbreak.
I can’t.
“Thank you so much. For being here,” he says, bringing my hand to his lips, laying a kiss on my knuckle. “That’s your New Year’s kiss.”
I want to jump out of my skin, but I keep it cool. “Thank you. Wasn’t sure I would get one this year.”
“I’m sure you didn’t expect to ring in the new year with a crying grown-ass man either.”
“That too.”
“If things were different…” he says and trails off. My spine shoots straight as I try to decipher his facial expression in the darkness. “IfIwere different…”
My breath catches in my throat, but I press my palm into his forearm. “Don’t say it.”
“Don’t say what?”
“Whatever you’re going to say. About us.”
“Okay.” His head turning back to the lake. He grabs my other hand and pulls it in, tucked into the warmth of his body.
“We’re great friends,” I say out loud, hoping I will believe that’s all we are. That my hopes cannot raise higher than a good companionship. Jackson Finch is off-limits, not because he’s the boss’s son or because my time in Goldheart is temporary. I’ve been down this road with an unavailable man before, and my heart knows better. I’ve heardIf things were differentbefore.
Jackson is not remotely available, and although I’m desperately in love with him, I can’t let myself be broken again.
After a few moments, he says, “I don’t think I’m going to drink for a little while.”
