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He changes direction and we go into the bathroom. When he sees the large clawfoot tub, he says, “Would you rather have a bath to yourself?”
“I think you can fit in there with me,” I tell him and he seems happy with that answer. I lean over and run the water, and his hands explore my backside.
“I just remembered how flexible you are,” he says in my ear. “I’ll need weeks, months—longer even—to discover all the ways.”
The way he says it almost feels like a promise.
“Did I hurt you?” he asks, dragging the loofah across my skin.
“I’m a ballerina. I love pain.”
EIGHTEEN
JACKAL
The male bedbug stabs into a special place in the female’s abdomen and inseminates her. This is traumatic for the females' exoskeletons, but they’ve adapted ways of minimizing the damage to protect themselves.
At first, when Phoenix and I lie in bed together, I’m not sure what to do. I’m good at the playacting, great at the fucking, but when it comes to curling up in bed with a woman, I am knobby knees and awkward elbows. We laugh and bump around for a bit before I pull her back against my chest and wrap my arms around her. Nestling my nose in the back of her neck, I inhale the scent of eucalyptus, which she tells me she soaks her body in after a long day of dancing. I allow myself to relax, letting sleep tug me slowly away. She eases against me, sighing.
“I don’t even need a heating pad with you in my bed,” she slurs sleepily. “Feels good…”
When I open my eyes again, Phoenix is jumping up, pulling a shirt and pants on.
“Someone’s out there,” she hisses, looking toward the window.
I hear it then, a continuous thud at the front of the house.
“Did you hear that? Someone’s at the door.” Her voice is panicked and I get up too, striding toward her and putting my hand on her back.
“Stay here,” I order.
I move into the hall, Phoenix on my heels, and Gwen walks out of her room, wild-eyed. Phoenix puts her finger to her lips to make sure we’re quiet while the pounding at the door gets louder.
Going to the window furthest from the door, I look out through the crack in the curtains. The figure is small; I can’t see all of the person, but the shirt is familiar.
It hits me suddenly who it is. I fling open the door as the girls simultaneously shout, “No!”
There’s a moment of shocked silence before Tahira falls into my arms, sobbing and clutching at me frantically.
“Oh my God,” Phoenix says. “Oh my God.”
Tahira’s arm dangles from a bad break. I snatch her up, carrying her to where the fire is still dwindling, and gently set her down on the sofa.
Gwen pushes me out of the way just as Phoenix rushes from the kitchen with an armload of supplies. Tahira’s eyes flutter open. When she sees Gwen, an anguished moan presses through her lips.
“Gwen...the others,” she sobs. “The others.”
“What happened, Tahira?” Gwen tries to keep her voice even, but I hear the tremble as she slides scissors up the girl’s shirt, cutting it away from her body.
It peels back with a wet slap, and Gwen drops it on the floor.
“Cardi’s gone,” she says. “They beat her until she passed out and then took the twins. I think Khan was killed in front of Kelsy.” She sobs. Phoenix and Gwen exchange a look as they clean her wounds. “I ran. I didn’t know where I was going. I tried to go back to where Jewel told us to find her if anything went wrong. She said she’d wait a while before heading back. My arm…I fell. I got turned around, but I eventually found her and she set me up with someone she trusted to drive me back. Jewel stayed to see if she could find Kelsy.” She swipes her face angrily. “I don’t even know if she got out of there. I asked the driver to let me off at a station,” she says, looking at Phoenix. “And then I ran the last five or six miles. I saw the barn at the end of the street and found my way back. I’m sorry. I don’t think anyone saw me.”
Something flashes across Phoenix’s face, but then my attention turns to Gwen who lowers her head. I see her shoulders convulse in silent sobs. I rest a hand on the back of her neck. After a few minutes, she reaches back and places her hand on top of mine. Emotion washes over me so fast I almost walk out of the room. My feelings: I mostly keep them detached. They float outside of me until something other than me tugs the string and reels them in; that something is Gwen’s tears. Her skin is warm and her sobs feverish. Gwen is tied to Foley now. He’d be here if he could, if he knew what was happening. Something or someone is holding him back. She hasn’t talked much about what life was like in prison, but the bond between all of the girls has been apparent.
Phoenix puts her hand on Gwen’s back, her own eyes filling, but when Tahira cries harder, she shifts into action. “I need to reset your arm and put it in a splint.”
Tahira’s eyes widen. “You know how to do that?”
