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“What is it?”

Do I sound like a little boy afraid of the dark?

Yes. Yes, I do.

Do I care?

Not in the least.

“Just look,” she jerks her head with a nod. “Tell me what you think. Quick, before he gets back. I haven’t done it yet. I wanted to talk to you. It’s something you and I need to discuss before we talk about it with him. I know that we’re together and we want to be forever, but it was still you and I before it was the three of us…”

She’s rambling. I flip the packet over in my hand and use my thumb to pry up the gold clasps.

“...or maybe it was you and him first, or, but—it doesn’t matter,” she twists her hands in the air. “I really want to do it, Justin, but I don’t want you to be mad at me, and I don’t want him to think I’m pressing for too much, too fast, and…”

Now tears are sliding down her face, and I don’t think she realizes she’s crying.

Alas, hormones affect more than just her sex drive.

“Take a breath, baby girl.”

I offer her an encouraging smile and reach out to run the back of my fingers over her cheeks, wiping away the escaped wetness. She startles when I show her my damp fingers, then starts mumbling under her breath and wiping at her face, “stupid fucking hormones always making me do stupid shit."

I pull my lips tight across my teeth to stop myself from laughing. Her mouth snaps shut with a click as I slip my hand into the envelope to inch out a stack of stapled legal forms.

I glance towards the entryway before allowing my eyes to skim the notarized documents.

Adult Name ChangePetition

Current Legal Name:Julia Williams

Proposed Legal Name:Julia Lancaster-Williams

Reason for Name Change:So that I may share the same last name as that of my children and that of my life partners.

“What do you think?”she whispers with a trembling voice.

What do I think?

I feel like I’ve been kicked in the gut as all my air rushes from me in a whoosh.

It’s…everything.

There are four sets of papers clipped together at the top. Inside, each group seems to be stapled duplicates and separated originals.

I let the folder fall to the carpet and flip through the rest of the documents, eyes skimming as fast as I can. My breath lodges in my throat when I realize one of the sets is for me, a yellow tab indicating the spots for my signature.

Current Legal Name:Justin Williams

Proposed Legal Name:Justin Lancaster-Williams

Julia’s set has already been signed.

The final packet of papers appears to be an updated will and power of attorney/medical directive, leaving her estate in the care of a trust for her children. It names both Remi and me trustees of her estate and as her designated decision-makers in case of incapacitation.

That one is ready to go—signed, sealed, and delivered. Dated, actually, a month ago.

I don’t know what to say. Every time I think I can’t love her more, she proves me wrong.

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