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I swallow thickly at the roughness in his voice and the coarseness of his grip.
“Justin wouldnotbe cool with this,” Raine says succinctly, and I bristle under her knowing glare.
“Samuel, what are you doing?” Beth asks, her eyes flicking between the Dom’s face and mine so fast I’m surprised she’s not getting dizzy. “Remi, are you going with him?”
“Justin isn’t here,” I tell her, standing up to my full height. “What I do isn’t any of his concern anymore.”
Bethany and Raine wear horrified expressions, communicating through their looks alone.
“Samuel doesn’t sub, Remi,” Beth says slowly. The only way this situation makes sense to her is if I’ve somehow gotten mixed up with a Dominant by accident.
“I know,” I say solemnly, feeling a keen sense of satisfaction at the horror behind her eyes. “I chose the strap. Think it’ll leave a bruise?”
“Fuck,” Beth hisses, then shakes her head and turns away, pulling her cellphone from her purse.
“I heard about what happened at the ball,” Raine says, gripping my hand and trying to pull me away from the Dom behind me. He tightens his grip on the back of my neck until I hiss in pain, and Raine immediately stops her tugging. She gives Samuel a venomous glare than in any other situation would make my man parts wither and shrink away in fear.
She gives her attention back to me.
“Remi. You can’t do this,” she says beseechingly, looking in my eye.
“Why not?” I demand, anger at the entire situation building in my chest. “Why can’t I, Raine? They have each other. They don’t need me anymore, and I’m tired of hurting the way I do. At least like this, I’ll have the marks to show for my suffering.”
“Do you hear him?” Raine insists, looking over my shoulder at the Dom still gripping me tightly. “He’s not in the right mindset to consent. If you take him back there, I’m going to go tell Lisa.”
“Tell her all you want,” Samuel says, sounding smug and confident. “He came to me of his own free will. He says he wants to fly, and I’m the best man for the job. I’ve seen him hovering around the last few weeks. Watching. Waiting. He knows what he’s getting into.”
“Don’t do this, Remi!” she begs, pulling at my hands. “Don’t do something you’re going to regret in the morning. Or if you’re determined to punish yourself for whatever went down between you and JJ, at least pick someone with a softer swing.”
I pull my hands free from her and take a step back.
“You don’t get it, Raine. Soft touches are reserved for the people you love. Nobody loves me anymore.”
She starts to protest, but I give in to the insistent tugging at the back of my neck and turn to face the Dom again. He jerks his head in the direction of a doorway, and, ignoring Raine still pleading in the hallway, I follow Samuel inside.
“Do you need a minute?” he asks when the door closes behind him.
“No,” I say shortly, looking around the room. It’s a smaller version of the open play areas. It has the same physical setup; the cross and the pads to kneel, but it doesn’t have an assortment of toys.
Which is why we stopped on our way up, I suppose.
“Well, then, pet,” Samuel says, dropping the strap across a table and reaching for a pair of cuffs. “Strip.”
I kick my shoes off one by one and pull my shirt up over my head.
“Don’t call me pet,” I tell him, then shove my pants from my hips.
EIGHTEEN
JUSTIN
When my phone rings after midnight, I expect it to be Remi. I’m hoping it’s Remi. I’ve slept with my phone in my hand for the last two weeks on the off chance that Remi would call me late at night again.
That time when the in-between veil is weak and his heart over runs his mind.
I had to come clean with Julia when she asked why the arm underneath her pillow had my cell phone clenched in it. It was easy to keep it from her when there was a canyon between us, literally and physically, it felt like. But after we came to Jesus and began sleeping without a Remi-sized hole between us, I couldn’t precisely lie as to why my phone had taken his place.
To say she was irritated that I never told her he called me would be a gross and hugely disproportionate understatement, but she understood my desire not to get her hopes up.
