AllFreeNovel
Share Us
As soon as the words left my lips, he drifted off to sleep, his hand still cupping my breast.
Things are finally better for us. The bed doesn’t feel quite so empty; our smiles aren’t nearly as slow to appear. When he fills me with his body, it doesn’t feel like there’s a part of us still missing.
I miss Remi. I miss Remi with my entire heart. But at long last, I feel like I can breathe again. That’s not because of anything I’ve done. It’s not because I’ve somehow become accustomed to Remi’s absence, though I suppose in a way I have. It’s all because of Justin. Justin has always given me what I needed. Even when I didn’t know what that was.
Justin was right not to sleep with me right after Remi fled. It was wrong of me to try to fill the void Remi left with someone else. Justin deserved better than that. When I make love with my husband, I do it because it makes me happy, not because I’m missing someone else.
Missing him. It sounds so simple for something so severe. This will be our first Christmas without him.
We sent Mrs. Jones and her sisters to the Bahamas for the holidays. I have no idea where my father is, and Justin’s parents will be spending the day with his sister. Much to my surprise, I’m looking forward to it. Sleeping in, homemade cinnamon rolls prepped the night before, and hot chocolate in front of the fire.
With just the two of us, we can start a new tradition.
I ring the doorbell for the apartment in front of me, then knock on the door for good measure. I know he won’t answer. I’ve long ago given up any hope that he would. I do dream that maybe he’s watching me from the doorbell app on his phone. He always used to say he could see me coming. I twist the knob just out of curiosity, but it’s locked just as tight as always. I’ve never tried my key in the dozens of times I’ve visited since he left us.
I don’t want to know if he had the locks changed. I don’t think I could handle it if he did.
I leave the bag filled with food and his presents sitting outside his front door and slip the card into the bag.
“I love you, Remi,” I whisper and blow a kiss in the direction of the camera in case he views the footage later.
After waiting for a moment with my hand on the door, I turn and make my way back down the hallway.
When my stomach gives a lurch and roars like a lion hiding in the Sahara, I pull my Note out to see if Justin in finally awake.
It seems to take forever for Justin to pick up his phone.
“Wife!” he says playfully, and I grin at his enthusiasm.
“Husband,” I reply in my best Bridgerton accent. “Would you care to accompany me for some luncheon? Meet me at the café in an hour.”
“Can’t,” he says quickly, rustling something on the other side of the line. “Your Christmas present finally got here. As a matter of fact,” the line goes silent, and I pull the phone away to verify whether we were disconnected. He must have hit the mute button, because it’s a shock when I hear his voice again. “I’m going to need you to stay away for a couple of hours.”
“Hours!” I exclaim playfully, leaning against the hallway wall.
“Yes. Hours. Go to the art Museum. Surely, they have something new for you to admire.”
I got Justin a first Edition Harry Potter, signed by JK Rowling herself.
“My Christmas present is better,” I say in a sing-song voice.
“Doubtful,” he sasses back just as quick. There’s a rustling on the other side of the line again, and it sounds like Justin covers up the bottom of the phone as he hisses “stop that!” into the apartment.
Did he finally get me a puppy? I’ve been asking for a puppy since we got married!
I squeeze my lips together so he can’t hear me squeal.
“I’ve got to go,” he says distractedly. “Two hours, three.”
Before I can even tell him I love him, he disconnects the line.
Well, okay then. It looks like I’m going to the art museum.
* * *
I triedto go to the museum. I really did. But I stopped at my favorite crafts store down on Artists Row, and that’s all she wrote. Four hours later, my hands are numb from carrying around my packages.
“I brought sustenance,” I yell after I let myself into our apartment, the smell of Chinese food wafting from the containers dangling from my fingers.
