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How long had she slept? The twins were on either side of her. The only thing covering them was the thin sheet draped over their waists. Thank God she hadn’t woken them. She didn’t want to recap the dream. True, she had found them that night at Mark’s field party and had told them everything. They had been livid over it, and there was nothing she could do when they stormed over to her house, intent on kicking the shit out of her father.
The only other time she confessed what her father had done, they were far too young to understand the severity of it. She hadn’t even realized how awful it had been. For years, she thought that was how things were supposed to be. Well, until she saw how happy the other children were and how they never seemed to have marks on them or be in pain.
It wasn’t like Rys and William ever saw her naked or could see the bruises, and when she was in a bathing suit, she always made sure the bruises had already faded. Her dad never hit her or her mother where people could see. Shit, she had told them so much about herself, about her fears and dreams. They had spent hours upon hours talking about their aspirations, but she had also lied. They were the only people she had really spoken to about the abuse.
Well, parts of it, and even then, she hadn’t been honest with them. She was a fraud and a horrible friend. If she had just been totally honest, told them everything, maybe things would have been different. Maybe the abuse would have stopped years ago. There was so much she hadn’t told them about her father and what he did. They would think she was a disgusting, vile creature if they knew the truth. She had made them believe the violence had stopped.
Well, up until that night, but it didn’t matter anyway, because when they had gotten back to her house, her father was gone. He hadn’t come back in almost eight years. They had been the happiest eight years of her life, despite the looks and whispers behind her back she got from the townies.
She looked at the clock, saw that it was going on six. How in the hell had she slept that long? After looking at both men again, she knew the answer. They had worn her out. A smile curved her lips, but it was misplaced. She needed to get out of here to sort through her thoughts and emotions. Oh it would piss them off when they woke and saw she was gone, but with her dream still fresh in her mind and the remembered pain of what her father inflicted on her, her emotions were too raw and open. She just needed to leave and get her thoughts together.
Slipping from the bed in the stealthiest moves she could muster, she searched the floor for her clothes. Without bothering to put on her bikini again, she slipped her top and shorts on. Bikini hanging from her fingers, she tiptoed toward the door, but before she could grab the handle, a big, warm hand landed on her shoulder.
Her heart pounded, and she briefly closed her eyes. Turning around, she looked into William’s confused blue eyes. He was completely naked, and she couldn’t help the blush that she felt rising to her cheeks.
“Where are you going, Janey?” His voice was low, and she glanced at the bed. Rys was on his stomach with one leg hanging over the edge of the bed. The sheet was bunched around his waist, and the hard and wide expanse of his back was exposed. She could see the steady rise and fall of his back and prayed he stayed asleep. She couldn’t deal with him right now, not when he would demand her complete honesty.
William, on the other hand, would be appeased with any information she gave him, even if it was minute. At least, she hoped.
“I have to go, William.” She cast her gaze down, unable to look him in the eye. She wanted to tell both of them everything, but the fact that she knew they would look at her differently was too much to stomach. She could imagine that everything would be okay, that they were understanding, had been for as long as she knew them. She wanted to tell them there had been no secrets between them, but that was a big, fat lie.
“Janey.” Her name from his lips sounded almost sad, and she looked back at him. “You don’t have to escape. Let’s talk about this.” He ran a hand over his hair, the muscles in his bicep bunching from the movement. Even now that she was running, she couldn’t help the arousal that settled inside her at the sight of him. He was just so beautiful. They both were. He looked at the bed before turning back to her. “Let’s just talk, sweetheart.” At her silence, he whispered, “Please.” How in the hell could she say no to that?
