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Steph narrowed her eyes, concerned.
“What?” I wondered. “What’s with the face?”
“Nothing.”
“Steph, I know you’ve got issues with Luke. But…”
“It’s not that Ihave issueswith Luke or that I don’t like him, I just don’t always like the effect he has on you. And I’m worried about—”
“I’m going to stop you right there,” I said. “Luke and I aren’t getting together. We never will and I have to accept that.”
“Then why are you happy?”
“Because he doesn’t have a hold over me anymore. Luke bailing on me at the restaurant has given me the push I need to move on. I think I’m going to—”
“Don’t you dare sayleave Blue Creek,” she snapped.
“Why?”
“Because you leaving Blue Creek only proves how much of a hold he has over you. And he always has,” she reasoned. “And I’ll kick his ass myself before I let you becomethis again.”
“Become what?”
“The lovesick girl who wrote this.”
Stephanie produced a folded piece of loose-leaf paper from her purse and slid it toward me. It was intricately folded with a sketchy little rose and skull scribbled in the corner.
My Death Note.
The letter to everyone I loved. It was only to be read if something were to have happened to me. I had wanted to give it to Luke, but after the night at the bonfire, I gave Steph the note and made her promise not to read it unless I was gone. I should have known she’d be too nosy not to.
“You read it?” I snarled.
She ignored my accusation. “I don’t want to lose you again.”
“Do you just carry that around with you all the time?” I asked, an uncomfortable shiver running through me.
“Of course not. But I’ve kept it safe since the day you gave it to me. I was looking for the right moment to give it back to you since you’re home now and you’re not shipping out overseas again.”
She slipped me the note and I quickly tucked it away in my jacket pocket, not wanting to read and relive my teenage sentiments.
As I started to calm down, I realized what Stephanie had said.
“Wait, lose me again?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“Stephanie.”
“Don’tStephanieme. That’s exactly what happened last time,” she said, exhausted. “Luke broke your heart and you ran away.”
“I was going to boot camp.”
“You stayed away for ten years.”
“I was fucking deployed, Steph.”
“Not the entire time,” she argued. “You never came back to visit us. You left me here with Mom and Dad all while they were separating. You took days to text me back. I felt like you were ignoring me.”
