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I run, and I run, and I climb and clamber over rocks and through the thick vegetation. The sound of the ocean changes, and when I see the soft white sands of a beach, I breathe and pray there is a house, resort or hotel. There is nothing, nothing at all. He said private island when we chatted, maybe there really isn’t anyone else here.
I follow the shoreline, walking on the soft sand, resting my sore feet and letting the water wash over them. I keep going, the moonlight on the water lights my way and I pray that around the corner I will find a road, or a boat. Anything, or anyone who will help me escape him. Sal was drunk, not just a little drunk, he was wasted. He will sober up and realize he let me go, then they will try catch me. I walk faster, as if my own shadow is going to bite me.
The soft sand changes beneath my feet to pebbles and round stones of all different colors. It’s like a mosaic where the ocean hits the shore, and the waves are bigger than they were on the beach. I would guess there are some surfers out there who would kill to have this as their backyard. The stones are smooth but hard on the soles of my bare feet, but I keep going. There has to be a way to get off this island. I see a lighthouse on the other side of the small cove and hasten my steps, there might be someone there who can help me.
“Please, please,” I say out, loud begging for whichever deity is listening to help me. To save me. The stone steps up to the door are slippery with moss and the moisture from the mist and as soon as I look at the door, bolted and padlocked from the outside, I know there is no one in there to save me. I am going to have to save myself. I scan the view of the water to see if there are any boats or ships around. Nothing. The water is baren, and there is no land in sight which means I cannot even swim off the island.
I walk around the front of the lighthouse, back down the steps and follow the curve of the shore. It changes slowly from pebbles and sand to rocks, and crags. There’s a cliff in front of me, and on the left is a snuggled old rope ladder. I might die no matter which path I take, over or around. I brave the ladder, and the sound the rope makes under the weight of my body makes me anxious. I climb faster, but slower, and I am not sure which is worse. I pull my body up and over the top of the rocks, and when I do my heart turns to lead in my chest, sinking lower than low.
I can see the dock where I arrived, and the house on the top of a small cliff of rock, the stone steps and the lights on in the windows. Even the open cellar door, the one I ran out of when I thought I was free. I walk as far as the dock, it is no leisure set up. This is for big boats, ships even. There is an eerie feeling about the empty concrete structure as I walk along it out into the water. It is deep here, I can’t see the bottom at all.
I collapse and sit down on the edge, my legs hanging over so every now and then, the spray from a big wave wets them. He knew I couldn’t escape, he was playing with me, like a toy to entertain him. That’s why he laughed when I ran, it was a game. Salvatore is a sick man, and I am at his mercy. I don’t think he has any mercy in him.
I stare over the edge into the deep dark water and contemplate just jumping in. I might as well die on my own terms. There is not a boat, or even a surfboard on this rock, and I have no chance of getting away. Not alive anyway.
I sit there and weigh my sadness, and the hopelessness I feel. They are heavy enough I would easily sink just holding my feelings. When I blink though, I see the face of the sweet baby he left with me, how he calmed down and slept with me.
That poor little boy is an orphan because of my family, and when I held him, I felt just a small part of Sal’s pain. Imagine being left all alone in this world with no family, no one to love you and protect you. I am ashamed my father could do that to them, it is not right. That poor man has no idea what he is doing with a baby, and it shows.
He took him back and let me go. What does that mean? He’s done with me? It felt good to be able to help him, and I hope he knows I meant it from a genuine place of kindness. No child should be made an orphan. My one-time best friend was an orphan, and it ruined her life. There is a space in life that only real family can fill — I hate what my father has done. Especially now I am faced with it in such a real way, but I still love him, he is my dad.
How many orphans are out there because of my family? That’s a terrible thought, but what’s worse, is this the first time I have had that thought. I never bothered to know what terrible things were being done in the name of family and business. Maybe Salvatore is right, I do deserve to die for what they have done.
“Are you done feeling sorry for yourself, and running around like a fool?”
His voice startles me, and I look over my shoulder to where he is standing with his hands in his pockets. I ignore him and look back at the water.
“Or are you sleeping out here tonight, with the sharks and the ghost crabs. Those little fuckers will pick the flesh from your bones while you sleep.”
My stomach turns. Just the thought of a crab makes my skin itch. They are disgusting things with those stalked eyes, and pinchers. No fucking thank you.
I ignore him, my heart still broken, and my hope squashed. I am still trapped, still a prisoner, and I can’t see any way to save myself. I sit with my feelings as his footsteps disappear in the distance. He has left me alone again, and I am not sure what to do. Am I supposed to stay here now, or go to the house? Was that a one-time offer or can I just go back?
The moon is high in the sky lighting the whole place with a shine and making it look as if the island is made of pure silver. The lighthouse flashes it’s light for no one, and the stars are like a glitter jar spilled across the black canvas of night. It’s devastatingly beautiful, and desperately lonely. I don’t think there are more than five people on the island. I have seen three or four of them including Sal.
Why would he choose to be this isolated? We all have safe houses, places to hide away, but they are not usually this desolate. He chose to be here all alone with that poor baby, why? He could have gone somewhere with help, but I doubt Sal trusts anyone to help him. He only gave me the baby out of desperation today.
The thoughts running through my head are on a reel, I can’t seem to push pause. All the things he said to me when we chatted online, the way he knew exactly what to say to me. Why has he brought me here and didn’t just have a hit put on me? Salvatore went to great lengths to get me here, and he isn’t going to let me just walk off this island in a hurry.
He was different online, yet some parts were still him. He turned me on with nothing but his words and that scares me. He is my captor, but I am not blind, he is a handsome man. Exactly as he described himself to me — and those were his sweatpants. I have seen him in them now, and they look just as good in person.
I have lost the will to fight, to run, or even get up off the cold concrete and I just lie back and stare up at the stars. The air is cooler now, and the wind is blowing off the ocean carrying the salty, wet smell on the breeze. Clouds start to cover the stars, and they dance with the moon, making it play peek-a-boo like I did with the baby today. I smile to myself thinking about his small gummy smile, and those sweet rosy cheeks.
CHAPTER10
Salvatore
I left her out there. If she wants to sulk, she can sulk. I have a business to run and a baby to care for. I have no time for another child on the island. Lucia is going to have to grow up and do it fast if she doesn’t want to irritate me. The buzz of drinking is gone, and I am tired and cranky. Raul is not settling down, I rock him in my arms like she did, but it somehow hasn’t got the same effect when I do it.
“It worked for her,” I sigh with frustration, and the house manager laughs at me.
“She has something you don’t have,” I frown at him, I have everything I need. “Boobs, Salvatore. Babies like to rest their little heads on boobs.” I shake my head with a smile. “Yours are a bit flat for him.”
“Thank you, I’ll be sure to choose a double-d when I order supplies in again,” I joke with him, and Raul smiles when I laugh. Its’ the first time he has smiled for me. It does something to my insides, and I smile back at him. “How am I supposed to do this? I don’t know the first thing about babies.”
“You have Google, YouTube and every mommy group social media has to offer at your fingertips. There is nothing you can’t become an expert on. You could have your Facebook degree in parenting within a week.” It’s both funny and true, I just don’t trust a bunch of virtual strangers to tell me how to do this right — not when the stakes are so high. I don’t want to fuck up this little person by doing it wrong.
“I will make sure to get certified as soon as possible then,” I say and we’re interrupted.
