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Laughing, I click out of the app, set my phone aside, kiss my daughter on the back of her head, and go make dinner.
16
SEBASTIAN
I wakeup to a ringing phone and midafternoon sunlight streaming through the crack in my motel’s curtains. Squinting against the bright light, I groan. Everything aches.
The phone stops ringing, but buzzes a moment later, then buzzes again.
Rolling over onto a spring that pokes through the mattress, I try to make out the name on my screen.
Christine. One missed call, two texts.
Christine: Dad!! Answer!!
Christine: Mark and I are planning our trip! Can you send me your address? You found a place, right???
I let the phone slip from my fingers and stare at the water-stained ceiling. My whole body is sore. I drove through the night, only stopping when my lids started getting heavy around six o’clock in the morning. Muscles creaking, I stand up and peek through the curtains. Desert stretches out as far as I can see, the sun already baking dry heat into the earth.
I’m just outside Kingman, Arizona. I drove south through California then turned east, and as soon as I left the state, exhaustion hit me like a bullet. It’s like my body knew I’d crossed from Georgia’s state to safer ground, and I was ready to fall asleep at the wheel.
The motel is seedy, run-down, but I slept like the dead.
Bella hops off her dog bed, circling my legs, then sprints to the door. Her big, black eyes stare at me, speaking volumes. I pull on wrinkled clothes from yesterday—from this morning?—and take her outside to the tiny patch of grass next to the parking lot, then bring her back inside for some food and water.
She chomps her kibbles, then marches to the dog bed and collapses. I kneel next to her and pet her ears, trace the white stripe along her nose. “What do you think, Bella girl? You like the road better than Heart’s Cove?”
She snuggles into a tiny little ball, putting one paw over my wrist as if to keep me beside her. I sigh, giving her another scratch before stretching my back out and heading for the bathroom.
After a long shower, I feel halfway human. I dial Christine’s number as I sit on the edge of the bed, looking at the old, brown carpet between my feet.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Hey, Bug.”
“You still haven’t sent me your address.”
I grimace. “Yeah. About that.”
A pause. “What?”
How do I tell my daughter I left Heart’s Cove in a huff because my high school girlfriend still doesn’t want me? How can I explain to her there’s a dark pit where my heart used to be when I don’t even understand it myself?
I’m not running away,I tell myself. But then…what am I doing? Why did the sight of Desmond Thomas pulling up a chair to a table where I wasn’t welcome feel like my insides were being put through a shredder?
Last night, all I knew was I needed to get out of that town, get away from her.
Let her be happy with that asshole Des. A woman like Georgia can be with any man she chooses—why would I think she’d ever want me? She’s always been too good for me, and I knew it from the very first smile.
“Dad?”
“I, uh”—I clear my throat—“I’m not in Heart’s Cove anymore.”
Bella lifts her head, staring at me from across the room.
“What do you mean?” Christine speaks slowly, suspiciously.
I huff. “I left.” The dog hops off her dog bed and trots toward me. I bend over and pick her up, leaning back against the headboard and letting the pup crawl over my lap.
