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Reality slams into me. I freeze, gripping the floor with my fingertips, sucking in a hard breath.
What. Did. I. Just. Do.
Des groans, hauling himself up to all fours. He glances at me. “You okay?”
“Yes. No.” I gulp. “You—you need to leave.”
Hurt splashes across his features, quickly hidden behind that familiar shuttered, arrogant expression. He licks his lips, clears his throat, and stands. “Right. Okay. That was obviously a mistake.”
“Obviously.” I stand and follow him to the door.
Des hesitates in the doorway, meeting my gaze.
I nod. “Have a good day!” I use my work voice, but it rings false in the heavy air between us.
His shoulders drop, and he walks away.
I endup locking the shop and making my way to Bailey’s school with my whole body shaking. I manage to hide my frazzled state of mind all the way to her basketball practice, where I drop her off and head home. I really shouldn’t be driving in this condition. As soon as I’m safely inside, I spin around in a circle and try to figure out what the heck I’m supposed to do.
I need to calm down—but how? A cold shower? Meditation?
The imprint of Des’s fingers still burns on my hips. I close my eyes for a beat—and…oh, screw it. I know exactly what I need, and it isn’t freaking meditation.
Rushing to my bedroom, I strip off my jeans and my panties (yes, they were lacy. I’ve started wearing nice undergarments again, and I don’t want to think about why) and lie back on my bed. In the bottom drawer of my nightstand are a few toys that have kept me company for the past decade. I pull out my favorite vibrator and go to town.
It takes about six seconds for me to explode. When I’m limp on the bed, vibrator silent in my hand, the lower half of my body completely bare, I start to laugh.
I’m such a colossal idiot. Wasn’t I supposed to be done making mistakes by now? I’m meant to be a full-fledged adult, not some hormonal mess who makes out with her landlord where anyone could walk by and see.
I need my head examined.
Then there’s a knock on the door, and I’m scrambling to pull myself together once more.
17
MIA
While I pullmy pants on, I make a decision: I’m canceling Thanksgiving. I’ll find some discount hotel somewhere and take Bailey out of town. Maybe I’ll buy a tent and meet up with my parents wherever they are. Or I’ll suck it up and meet with Colin.
Hurrying through my newly renovated home, I button my jeans just as I make it to the back door. The frosted glass tells me there are two people outside, but I don’t immediately recognize them.
“Mia,” Maude Thomas says when I open the door. “We’re so sorry to come by unannounced, but we were in town and wanted to come say hello. Didn’t we, Arthur?”
“I hope you don’t mind us coming by unannounced!” Arthur says a little more loudly than necessary.
Covering my shock with a smile, I ask the elderly couple to come in.
“Oh, wow! Des told us he was doing some repairs in here, but…” Maude does a slow circle, then clicks her tongue with a fond smile. “That grandson of mine is such a gem.”
“He sure is,” I answer, grimacing. “Coffee? Tea? Water? Please, have a seat.” I put my arm around Arthur’s to help him into a chair.
“Oh no, honey, we won’t stay long.” Maude pats my arm and smooths Arthur’s hair on her way to her own seat.
The hard rock in my chest softens. I love the Thomases. They’re such kind people. I would have been on the street if they hadn’t offered me the shopfront with this apartment attached at such a low rent. They did me a favor and never even asked for more money in the decade I’ve lived here.
Really, I have no right to be angry at Des about a rent hike. They’ve been more than generous with me.
“What can I do for you?” I ask, getting a jug of cold water from the fridge and a few glasses, just to give myself time to calm my thumping heart.
