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“Shit,” I whisper, aching for his penetration as he slides me deftly up and down the bump of his erection. “Wait.”
He stops. “What?”
“I… I don’t want you to be too forceful,” I respond, lifting my eyes to meet his. “I need to be sure I can do this.”
His eyes soften as he watches me. “Not leading is against every single instinct of mine. I ache to dominate you, to earn your unequivocal submission. I want to make you beg for me. I need you to know that.”
“I’m not begging,” I reply. “And I already know all this. That’s why I need to be sure I can do it.”
“We’ll take it as slow as you need. I’m going to give you instructions. You decide, not me, if you want to obey them. Shall we try that?”
I nod, the lust in his eyes making me rub against him once more.
“Good girl,” he whispers. “Now take off the dress. Show me those tits of yours. I want to watch them bounce as I fuck you.”
“I still haven’t decided if we’re doing that,” I respond.
“Good, because I still haven’t decided if you’ve earned the right to feel my cock slide all the way inside you. I’m still debating that. I want you to take off the dress for me like a good girl… because I want to look at you.”
I want to look at you.
I’d better not tell him that I think those words might be my kryptonite.
On instinct, I want to defy him, but I can’t resist the urge to reset in his arms—reset the sensations that happen when a man touches me, reset my own ability to be aroused, reset how I feel when I’m naked in front of a man.
I glare at him for a while, wondering whether he has the right to see me naked again, while fighting my desperation to arouse him with my body.
He waits, holding me up with ease until I reach for the waist of my dress, and pull it over my head, throwing it onto a chair nearby. I reach behind me for the clasp of my bra, undoing it before peeling it off my chest, sweeping the straps down my arms and discarding it.
I glance down at my tits before lifting my eyes to a bestial groan of arousal from Grey. “Such an obedient little girl for me.”
I shake my head. “I’m not doing this for you,” I respond, though I only wish that were completely true. “You’ve offered me your body, so I’m going to use it.”
His eyes glitter darkly. “It’s yours. I want you to play with it.”
I frown. I’m not in the habit of having sex just for pleasure. I guess that’s a new skill I’ll be learning… I've always been jealous of my friends for being able to have no-strings-attached sex. I've seen about three therapists to try to make this demi-sexual thing go away… to no avail.
I don’t want to be a slave to my emotions anymore… and maybe he can finally fix this problem.
“What do you want to do next?” he asks.
“Your belt.”
He watches me patiently, silver-hued eyes flaring in the dim light until I reach down for the buckle, shifting my body so that I can open it fully. Without asking for permission, I unbutton his expensive-looking dress pants, trying to ignore my own wetness now making them glisten, before unzipping them.
“Indigo,” he warns sternly as my hands grow more famished and I reach for his cock, pulling it out of his briefs. The thing is so big, so girthy and so fucking hard. I squeeze it, tipping my body forwards until my head leans on his shoulder. I buck my hips positioning the head of his cock at my pussy and using it to slide up and down onto my clit, moaning gently as I do.
“I’m on birth control,” I whisper truthfully, and he stiffens, pulling back a little.
“What are you saying?” he responds, his lips caressing my cheeks and his hot breath lashing my face.
I’m saying, Grey, that I want to feel you properly—that I want you to replace the feeling of someone else. That I want your cum to replace his…
Only I don’t say that.
I won’t ever say that to anybody.
So instead, I tremble as I say, “I want to feel you… if that’s an option.”
