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He grimaces, sliding his leg onto mine, the weight of his body so inexplicably soothing. He makes me feel like I can break down, that he’ll catch me if I do, and yet I know that hope is so treacherous. “Yes,” he finally replies.
“About things you don’t talk about?”
“Yes.”
Under the weight of his penetrating glare, I consider leaning into him, kissing him on the mouth, something I know he’s not comfortable with. And so I don’t.
But in a flash, he climbs onto me, placing one hand under my head as my legs part wide for him.
A word of longing drops from my lips, “Please,” and he reaches down, grabbing hold of his cock which he gently feeds inside me.
He begins to fuck me slowly, only this time, he’s not the Dom. Our tongues begin to dance against each other, slowly at first and then quickening, our breaths mixing to form a heady perfume.
I gasp into his mouth as the cadence of his thrusts increases, and moan as he licks my neck, whimper as he ravenously breathes me in, grabbing his ass and pulling him into me so that he can fuck me deeper as our mouths collide, our lips brushing against each other, our tongues tasting, our hands pulling each other in.
At some point, his lips are nestled near my ear, whispering seductive words which I try to not let burrow deep, throwing up whatever frail inner walls I can erect.
“Do you even know what you do to me?” he whispers, causing my eyes to close as I melt into the powerlessness that comes from being pinned down by this man fucking me. A powerlessness that I know feels treacherously safe.
By the time he comes, I feel tears leaking from under my closed eyelids, and open them to find him peering down at me as he pulses his cum deep inside.
And as we lie there silently afterwards, our slippery bodies intertwined, I see nothing but his eyes as they burrow into me.
48
Indigo
Marilla’s drag on her cigarette could rival that of an industrial-strength vacuum cleaner.
She eyes me severely as she exhales the smoke in the direction of the open window of the very homely cottage she shares with Orpha when they’re in the US. It’s on the outskirts of Prince Frederick, a village nestled in a rural area to the east of DC not that far from the coast.
“Well, he’s basically a one-man walking red flag,” she drawls in that gravelly voice of hers.
“I’ll second that,” adds Rami, sitting opposite Orpha and me as we occupy a thick mauve rug on the floor. Both of us are fervent proponents of the joys of sitting on the floor, another thing my birth mother positively loathed about me.
Rami and Marilla bonded the second they met when I introduced them a few years ago, both sharing the same no-nonsense and somewhat jaded attitude to human beings. Not to mention that they both love the same rock bands which we spent half an hour discussing before Marilla decided she wanted an update on Grey. Seeing as Rami has a challenging relationship with her old-school family, I think she’s always felt comfort being around these open-minded ladies.
“Are we forgetting that the man nearly got himself stabbed to death for me?”
“Well, that washisdecision,” snipes Rami, eliciting a smile from both me and Orpha just for sure mercilessness.
“He’s getting a few points for that,” replies Marilla flatly. “That and his work on Micah’s case are the only reason I’m not telling you to run away screaming.”
“Have you two talked about where this is going?” asks Orpha, picking a piece of something out of my ever-disheveled hair.
“No,” I reply. “We’re just dating. He has suggested I meet his parents though. Kind of nip any resistance in the bud early.”
Marilla stops all movement, her dark eyes boring into me from behind the dancing smoke of her cigarette. “Didn’t you say the father made you uneasy?”
“Oh yeah,” I reply. “That man is quite the asshole.”
“Well, it looks like the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” responds Marilla to my shake of the head.
“He’s not an ass—”
At Rami’s look of skepticism, I stop. I mean, I guess he kind of is, but then, he doesn’t hide the fact that he’s dominant and disagreeable at times.
“Well, as far as assholes go,” I qualify. “I’ve hadfarworse. Plus, I haven’t felt safe like this with a man for a long time.”
