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I pull something out of a bag on the floor. It was a gift Fran brought over on her first night here—a brand new vibrator that she swears can make her see Jesus.
She and Rami both know I haven’t been able to orgasm since Micah, either with Kohl or on my own. I can feel a tiny bit of arousal but either my body tenses up too much if I touch myself or I get so triggered that I have to stop, never being able to get close to climaxing.
I pull the brand-new vibrator out of its box, heading over to the ensuite bathroom to wash it before finding the batteries included and inserting them into the housing.
I take all my clothes off, another thing I’ve struggled with of late, and lie myself down on the bed, spreading my legs and beginning to slide my fingers up and down my clit, using my own wetness to lubricate the movements.
And then, my mind begins to do its work as I imagine Greyson in his apartment next door, wondering how he felt after I played for him, wondering if he was as aroused as I was, whether he too suddenly has energy he needs to disperse before it drives him mad.
I can’t help but picture him heading to his bed like I have, peeling every square inch of clothing off that sturdy frame of his, lying the muscular mass of his body down onto his mattress.
I see his fingers wrapping around his hard cock, which I’d bet money is very big, working the shaft until it’s a solid baton of wood.
His head tips back as he slides his hand up and down, his balls contracting as he thinks… of me? Of my body? Of my pussy? Of what he wants to do to me?
Whether my fantasy has any basis in reality, I don’t really care right now. All I care about is the pleasure I can finally feel detonating in tiny explosions as I slide my fingers to the opening to me and imagine his cock… beginning to push inside me.
Fuck, I want that…
I want him on top of me, pinning me to the bed, pushing his cock in and then out, over and over. As I think it, my fingers curl and I insert two, exhaling as I breathe through the triggering sensation and seek pleasure, focusing on nothing but him, imagining him working his cock until he’s ready to shoot his load deep inside me.
My hand fumbles for the vibrator which I turn on, holding the tip against my clit only for my body to dissolve into warm waves of pleasure which I bathe in until I hear the ghost of him groaning, working his cock harder, squeezing the head, sliding his firm grip down the shaft, wondering whether he’s picturing it inside me.
And then I do something unfathomable to me six months ago—I lower the head of the vibrator and push it inside me… just a little, keeping my eyes tightly closed as I imagine his cock there instead, hearing him groan like an animal into my ear.
A moment later, I pull it out, holding it against my clit before tipping my head back and arching my back as I feel his cock pulsate, shooting his cum deep inside me and the waves of the first orgasm I’ve felt this year reverberate through me, making me pant in pleasure and relief.
My legs turn to jelly and my skin mists in sweat as I keep my eyes tightly closed and revel in pleasure I haven’t felt for so long, stupidly wondering whether Grey’s hard abdomen is now covered in cum… or if it will be later…
I guess it doesn’t matter.
Something has shifted.
I need to get myself back.
Opening my eyes after a few minutes, I tip my head to see my phone charging on the nightstand.
I pick it up and dial.
“Hey babe,” sings Fran. “How was work?”
“I did it.”
“Did what, babe?”
“I made myself come.”
She bursts into loud laughter. “Yesss… Girl, you’d better tell me about your day.”
10
Indigo
Wednesday
Ipull down on the blue lever, dispensing water into my glass bottle, amazed I was able to leave Carrie’s office without Donna miraculously popping up to check on me.
I saw the monitor on her desk earlier today, the one that shows a live feed of what the cameras in the corridors record, and I swear she’s been sent to accost me whenever I venture out.
