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“No,” I say, trying to sound earnest. I mean, technically we have only done that in my head. “Look, you can tell everyone it’s all my fault, okay?”
“Don’t patronize me,” he snaps.
“I’m not. I’m sorry. I just—”
“It’s because of him. I know it.”
“It has nothing to do with him. Honestly. I explained why. I’m not ready to be with someone and… we’re not… a good fit anyway.”
“Why not?”
How do I even explain it?
I just don’t feel anything when I’m with him, physically or emotionally.
“I don’t know. I just—”
“Is it because I pressure you to speak to your mother?”
“I mean… that doesn’t help. I hate when you do it. It’s invalidating and makes me feel unsafe. And it doesn’t work anyway. You can’t force people to talk to those that have hurt them. They have to do it in their own time.”
“Look.” He sits down opposite me, his body still simmering. “I’ll stop doing that, okay?”
“It’s not just that.”
“I can give you money, Indie. You don’t have to live in that shitty basement suite anymore. You can move in with me.”
Oh my God, we’re going backwards here…
“I like my place.”
“It’s not safe. Your ex had a fucking field day with it.”
“Yeah, well, he’s in jail.”
“Not forever.”
“Fine. If he gets out, I’ll move.”
“You don’t need to—”
“Look, stop. Please. We’re better off as just friends.” I put my hand to my chest, realizing my breathing is erratic. “You told me months ago that you knew I wanted a casual relationship, that you knew we wouldn’t be a permanent thing and wouldn’t give me shit if I couldn’t do it anymore. I warned you about all that. You said you got it.”
“Things have changed. Please, just—”
“Kohl, I’m sorry. Honestly.”
“Why don’t we just keep things going as they have been? I mean I barely fucking see you as it is.”
The knock at the door has us both turning in that direction. It’s firm and strong—three knocks in quick succession.
Fuck.
I feel Kohl’s eyes searing me as I get to my bare feet and wander over to the door, fearing who it is.
I curse under my breath I peer through the peephole, before opening the door just a little to find Grey standing there, his expression sober.
“Hey, I’m kind of—”
