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CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
GRANTDEVOUREDALEXANDRAwith his gaze, his eyes seeking out every detail he’d missed since he’d last seen her. The strands of dark mahogany hair falling from her ponytail and lying gently against her neck. The small upturn to her nose that added a hint of mischief to her beautiful face. And, most of all, the determined set of her lips, an outward sign of the strength she’d developed over the years. He’d loved her that summer, fallen so deeply in love he had never stopped loving her.
But the past couple of weeks, getting to know the woman Alexandra had become, had made him fall in love with her all over again. It wasn’t just her courage but her compassion, her grace, her ability to find light in darkness. That she’d remade herself without any help from her father’s legacy made him love and respect her all the more.
“I have some things I need to say.”
Cold fear wrapped around his heart and squeezed. She’d said similar words nine years ago. Had he imagined what was developing between them? Or had he ruined it by jumping to conclusions and lashing out from pain and shame?
“As do I. Ladies first.”
She bit down on her lower lip. The sight heated his blood as he remembered her lips closing around him, driving him to within an inch of losing control. His hands curled into fists. It was the only way he stopped himself from reaching out and pulling her against him.
“I apologized recently for being a coward all those years ago. And then I turned around and behaved cowardly again.”
Her voice caught. His heart tore.
“No, Alexandra, it wasn’t—”
“Don’t make excuses for me.” She turned away and walked to the wall of the garden, crossing her arms against a light breeze, her back ramrod straight. “When you thought I had rejected you again, I was so hurt. Even a little angry.”
I know.
“But how could you not think that of me?” He could feel the doubts overtake her, saw it in the droop of her head, hear it as her voice dropped to a self-deprecating whisper. It cut through him like a knife. “After I let my father ruin what we had...after I didn’t stand up for us...”
He closed the distance between them in seconds. His hands wrapped around her waist, spinning her around to face him. Her lips parted in surprise just before he cupped her face in one hand and kissed her.
He poured everything into his kiss: his love, his regret, his passion, his hope. For a moment she didn’t respond and his grip on her tightened. If she turned him away, if it was too late, at least he would have this one last moment.
And then she came alive beneath his touch, her mouth opening to his caress, her arms wrapping around his neck as she pressed her body against his and moaned his name.
He wanted nothing more than to keep kissing her, to imprint his touch on her and claim her as his once and for all.
Soon.
He pulled back and rested his forehead on hers, gratified that her breath was just as harsh and fractured as his.
“Alexandra, you were nineteen. You were nineteen and innocent and under the thumb of an abusive, manipulative man.” His hands slid around to her back and he pressed her close, wishing he could absorb all the pain David Waldsworth had caused her over the years. “I knew something was wrong that day. I knew you better than anyone else, and I walked away.” His voice roughened as he tilted her chin up so she could look him square in the eye. “Iwalked away. I left you. Because I was hurt and embarrassed and let my damn pride keep me from seeing what was really going on. I left you, and carrying our child...” He paused, swallowed hard. “I left you both to that monster. And now, when I had a second chance at a future with you, I nearly let that same pride chase you away again.”
Her hands flew up and clasped his face, tears sparkling in her eyes.
“Don’t you dare take responsibility for this. I made mistakes, too.”
He threw back his head and laughed.
“Are we going to stand here and argue about who is more at fault, or are you going to let me tell you that I love you?”
Her eyes widened as a cautious hope brightened their hazel depths.
“You...you love me?”
“I never stopped. Is it too much to hope that you—?”
She jumped and wrapped her legs around his waist, burying her face against his neck as she began to cry.
“Alexandra...”
“They’re happy tears!” She leaned back and gave him a smile so radiant it rivaled the lights of New York City. “I love you, Grant. I love you, and I came here tonight to tell you. I know I’m stronger and more capable, but if I couldn’t take the risk of telling you how I felt, then none of what I’ve done the last nine years matters—”
