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He would be brought by helicopter quickly, Cameron assured her.
“I do not count Dr. McCall as a person. He is a tool for my use,” he said.
“Like part of your collection?”
“I was badly injured after the accident and even after the initial recovery there were complications to watch for and the man saw to them when I had a need.”
“Practical. You know, Cameron, I am realizing I was merely an object to my mother. Something to represent what she lost, not really who I was. It is painful, to treat a human being that way.”
“Many things in life are painful, lass.”
They lapsed into silence for a moment.
“Tell me,” she said. “While we wait.”
“It was a car accident,” he said.
“I’m very sorry,” she said. “It must’ve been a terrible one.”
“You have no idea. It was... A horror.”
“It looks as if it was a miracle you survived.”
“It was. My passenger was not so fortunate.”
“Oh... I’m sorry.”
“There is no need for you to be sorry. I am. I will be. Forever. Irina’s life is over. And mine was spared. There is no justice in that. I was driving at a high rate of speed. It is my fault.”
“Was she... Was she your girlfriend?”
He laughed. A cold, hollow sound. “She was my lover.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. It must’ve broken your heart.”
He looked blank then. “No. It didn’t. And that, little goddess, is the very worst thing. I was not in love with her. She was merely an amusement. It might’ve been any woman in the car with me. But it was Irina. Beautiful, vivacious, with all that life ahead of her. With parents who loved her very much. She was a model, she was about to be in her first movie. She had everything in her life to look forward to. She would have eventually married, she would’ve had children. I was simply a detour along the way for her. She should have had that life. She had sisters. She had a family. I do not have that. So many people are alive who miss her.”
“And so you have to live as if you died?”
“Is that not justice?”
“No. It is not justice. It is just... I don’t even know what it is. Needless punishment.”
“And what would you know of it, Athena?”
“I...”
He moved all of a sudden. “He’s here.”
“I’ll get the door.”
She jumped up and went to the doors, which Cameron opened by voice. The physician was an elderly man, who took one look at Cameron’s arm and began to work without saying a word. He got out his medical bag and vigorously scrubbed at the wound before stitching it dispassionately. And then he took out two very large needles and gave Cameron shots. He did not explain what they were.
She had to wonder if that was the bargain Cameron had made with the man. Care for him, but never speak. As if they really weren’t sharing the same space.
The doctor left quickly after that, with Cameron sewn back together and a bottle of pain pills left on the table. Cameron took the pain pills and threw them in the trash.
“You can grow dependent too easily when you’re in constant pain,” he said, his voice rough, speaking of hard-learned experiences. “I have trained myself, all my life, to not feel pain. I learned to extend it to the physical so that... I did not live a half-life on these pills.”
