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It was not strength or might or power. It was not manipulation. It was only love. And she had that for him. It radiated through all of her. Through everything she was.
And even in his fear, she was strong.
She stood up, naked and completely unashamed. Stood before him proud.
“Don’t run from this now.”
“No, Athena. This cannot be born. This is why I did not want to touch you. This is why...”
“Yes. I know. Because you don’t want me to get too close to you. Because you don’t want anyone to get to close you, that is why you left me on the doorstep of my family home. That is why you didn’t stay with me. It is why you didn’t touch me before. Because you knew that if you did you would have no protection left.”
“I kept away from you to protect you. You and your hungry virgin’s eyes. How do you feel now?”
“Strong. But I already did. I knew what I wanted before I arrived at this castle. I want you, Cameron. I’m Athena McKenzie. I know who I am. I know that I got a family name when I found Constantine, but you are the family I choose. Don’t you see? I went out and I saw the world. I could have had anyone. But I didn’t. Because what I wanted was here. I am an heiress. I bought a house. I furnished it with all things that I loved. I saw myself living a life that I created. A life without you.
“And it was not enough. It was not enough because it was not you. I am not a prisoner. And I know what is out there. I have been to beaches and cities. I have had a glorious family Christmas. And in and amongst all of that, I felt sadness. Because I missed you. Because I want you. I kept on living out there so that you couldn’t tell me I didn’t understand. I talked to you every day over the intercom because I chose to. Not because I was a prisoner. I’m not. I am the goddess of war, and I will fight for you. I will fight for us. And if you resent that, then you must take your own self to task. Have courage. Take heart. You told me to find my strength. And I have. Do not join the chorus of men who have tried to tell me what I am. What I shall become. I have already proven that I am stronger than those around me have ever been willing to give me credit for. You were the one person who saw it, Cameron. Don’t sell me short now.”
“It is... It is impossible,” he said. “It is me.”
The words were broken. Ragged. “I am a monster,” he continued. “And there is no fairy-tale ending waiting for us. You saw the headlines, beauty and the beast. But you cannot kiss me and make this better. Here we are, I have your virgin blood on my sheets, and I am still a monster.”
“And I am Athena, goddess of war, Cameron, and I was made to fight this battle. I thought my journey was to find my place with other people, but I had to find myself, so I could make the space I needed. And I have done it. And now I know who I am. I know what I want. I want you, and you can’t tell me I don’t. Do not make me into an object for your trauma to hold on to, that is how you turn a person into your personal plaything, a piece of a collection and steal all their humanity. That is what I was for my mother, and I will not be that for you.”
“I am scarred...”
“Your scars are the mark of who you are, not a monster. A man who survived.”
“I am nothing more than a broken boy. It’s all I have ever been. Wanting love sent me down a path I could not come back from. It is a twisted sort of thing to sell your body, and to learn to wall your soul away so that nothing can touch you. And at the same time to want... To want desperately for even one encounter to do something to ease the loneliness inside of you. I came here to face the loneliness. To accept it. Because I’ve never been very good at it.
“Stolen moments, fleeting bits of closeness where someone else might put their hands on me and I might feel like I’m not the only person in this world. I cannot separate that need from how sordid it all is. I cannot...”
“You know that what happened between us was not sordid.”
“And what will happen when you are done with me? What then?”
“Have I ever given you reason to not trust me? I have crossed the world to be here with you. It’s what you fear is inside of you. You fight an enemy in your own self. Do not turn me into your foe, Cameron McKenzie. I was your gift. If you believe in anything, believe in that fate that brought me here. Because I do. It brought me to you. It brought me to my family. It rescued me.”
“You rescued yourself. The minute you threw yourself out of that motorcade.”
“Fine then. I rescued myself. Trust me to carry on knowing exactly how to rescue us both.” And she realized then that she had it wrong. Just that one thing.
“Actually, I can only rescue you just so much, can’t I? You must take those next steps yourself. You are at the crossroads, and you must find a way to decide. To step into the light. The only person who can break the curse is you. Because I can kiss you and love you, and believe that you are the man I know you are. A man worthy of those things, but unless you believe it, I cannot fix it.”
“Athena...”
“Do you love me?”
And he looked like he might shatter.
He wished she had not asked that.
It was the splinter in the glass that set the whole pain fracturing.
Do you love me?
He could lie. He had lied so many times in his life about so many things. To himself, to everyone else.
Do you love me?
