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“Thanks, Jamie.”
He flashes a closed-mouth smile and then shuts the door, leaving me on the porch in tears.
I run away from the house shielding my face with my arm. I don’t want anyone to see me like this. I’m a mess.
When I finally stop on the next street over, I bend over to catch my breath. The tears keep coming, coating my face, refusing to stop. My heart aches for Preston. I wish I could take away his pain, transfer all of it to me.
ChapterTwenty-Five
PRESTON
My life is over. I’ve fucked up everything. All because I broke my own rules. I lived by the idea that hockey and women don’t mix. My dad drilled it into my head from the time I hit puberty. The second I started looking at girls, he was all over me, up my ass to stay focused. Because he could see how easy it would be for me to go astray.
Jamie knocks on my bedroom door even though it’s open. He strolls into my room like he owns the joint and plops down on the edge of my bed. The mattress dips beneath his weight.
“Bex was here. Again. When are you going to man up and talk to her?”
“I don’t want to deal with anyone.” I prop myself up on the stack of pillows behind me to get comfortable. “You’re lucky I’m talking to you.”
“Prez, I know this feels like the end of the world, but your hand will heal, and when it does, you can still play hockey.”
“You don’t know if that’s true. The doctor said anything can happen. We won’t know for sure until I heal if I’ll have the same range of motion in my hand. And what pro team will want someone who was suspended by the NCAA for violently attacking another player? I have no fucking shot of ever making it pro now.”
“With your dad’s connections, I’m sure he can find you a team.”
“I don’t want to play for some farm league or in fucking Russia. This was the dream. You, me, the guys, and the NHL.”
“You’re too good to get passed over. Something has to come from this.”
“You don’t know that,” I challenge, not meaning to be an asshole to Jamie. “Sorry. It’s not your fault. I’m so fucking mad I can’t even think straight. I keep replaying that night over and over in my head. I fucked up so bad that no number of apologies or money can fix what I did. I have to live with the decision I made for the rest of my life.”
“Bex said to tell you she’s sorry for getting you involved. What was she talking about?”
Pinching the bridge of my nose between my fingers, I sigh. “It’s not my story to tell. Sorry. I can’t go into it.”
“You fought Lehane because of Bex?”
I nod.
“You have to give me something, bro. C’mon.”
“I wish I could. Bex doesn’t want anyone to know.”
“Maybe I can help.”
“No one can. What Lehane did to deserve that beating won’t change my suspension.”
“Are you done with Bex?” He presses his palm to the mattress, shifting his weight. “She’s a good girl. You would be stupid to push her away.”
“Like you did with Shannon,” I retort.
He sighs. “Things with Shan are complicated.”
“So is my relationship with Bex. I need a break. From everything and everyone. I don’t want to talk about my suspension or my career. I just want to be left alone. She’s a reminder of what I lost. I don’t blame her, but I don’t want to see her right now. I need time to process.”
Jamie pushes himself up from the bed. “I’ll leave you to it, then.” He opens his mouth, hesitating with his next words. “Don’t shut everyone out, Prez. We all want to help you. It doesn’t have to be like this.”
“There’s nothing anyone can do for me.”
