AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He grunts, and it sounds again like he’s disappointed in me. “You want me to be the bad guy here?”
I shake my head as I pull an outfit from my bags since I didn’t take the time to unpack last night. “That’s not what I’m saying.” But maybe it is. I don’t know. All I know is I have this guilt weighing me down now and I know I need to tell the guys. But I’m so fucking scared of how they’ll react. What they’ll do. How much it will hurt them.
I don’t want to hurt them. But I don’t want to hurt Cohen either. The harsh reality is that someone is going to be hurt in this situation. There isn’t a way around that.
“No,” I say again, firmer. “That’s not what I’m saying.” It’s not fair to blame him. Both of us were in this room, both of us did what we did. I can’t put that on him. I have to claim my part in this, be responsible for my own actions.
I step into a pair of panties and slide them up my hips, acutely aware of Cohen watching me the whole time. “You’re worried that they’ll toss you aside if they find out.” It’s a statement, not a question. I give a jerky nod as I snap my bra into place. “Well, if I’m honest, wildcard. I wouldn’t mind so much if they did.” I suck in a sharp gasp of air, anger bubbling in my stomach as he continues. “It would mean I could have you to myself and you wouldn’t have to put yourself through this damn trial to join a coven that wants to kill you for some unknown reason. You’d be a hell of a lot safer if they decided they didn’t want you anymore, Ro.” I wish I could argue with him, but I can’t. “But I know that would hurt you. And I don’t want to see you hurt. So I’ll make myself the bad guy here.”
He stands up and approaches me just as I tug on a pair of jeans, coming to a stop in front of me. His bronze hands grip my bare shoulders, his thumbs dipping under the straps of my bra to stroke the skin there. I feel it before he says anything else, his magic settling against my skin.
Then he gives me a sad little smile, already knowing he’s going to piss me off. “You won’t be able to tell them about this, not until we know that they’re willing to share you with me.”
I blink up at him in surprise. “You put another gag on me? Really?”
He nods, his fingers still caressing my skin. “I did.”
I’m torn between anger and relief. Anger because he doesn’t have the right to keep me from telling my guys about this. It’s yet another man taking my ability to choose how my life should go from me. But I’m so damn relieved, too, because he’s taken the decision from me.I can’t tell them.I can’t tell them and even though I feel guilty as hell about it, it means I can have more time to figure out how to address this without losing them.
He bends his head and brushes a soft kiss on my lips, so at odds with how he kissed me before. “I won’t touch you again until you ask me, wildcard. I don’t want you to feel guilty for being with me.”
Holy penguins. Does he know what he’s doing to me? Being so sweet and considerate and… apparently him letting me be a liar and a cheat is a turn on.
I open my mouth to—I don’t know—thank him, I guess? When there comes a knock on the door. “Love?” Hardin calls through the door, and every molecule in my body freezes. “I brought up your breakfast. We heard you… uh, well, we heard you coming, and we thought you might be hungry now and maybe a little less inclined to yell at us?”
I turn my gaze back to Cohen. “Oh, you asshole. You absolute shitstain of a human.” I snarl at him. “You dropped the silence spell?”
He shrugs a shoulder, a cocky grin on his face. “Only for that. I wanted to be sure they heard how good I make you feel.”
I ball up my fist and slam it into his shoulder. He chuckles and tucks a strand of my damp hair behind my ear, drops a kiss on the tip of my nose and then heads to the window. He has one leg out of it when I stop him. “I’ll need you to drop the gag order about the… About when you took me to the caves on campus.”
“No need, wildcard. I got it covered.” He blows me a kiss and ducks outside, just as Hardin opens the door and pokes his head inside.
I spin to face him, cursing the red flush that’s spread all over my cheeks and chest. He smirks as he moves toward me, the plate I’d abandon on the island earlier in his hand. I freeze when he bends his head to kiss me. Will he taste Cohen on me? Will he somehow know that I cheated on him?
He kisses me softly, not nearly as intense as usual. When he pulls back, he sighs, a frown pulling his winged eyebrows together. I watch him, my heart beating in my chest as I wait for his inevitable hurt. But instead he sighs, resigned. “Still mad then.”
I blink. “What?”
“You didn’t kiss me back, so you must still be mad.” He slides the plate onto the table in the room and uses both ringed hands to cup my neck, his thumbs pressing my chin up so I meet his eyes. “We can’t tell you everything, love. It’s just not possible. We’re not trying to leave you out or make you feel like you aren’t a part of us. You are. Believe me, you are. We just can’t tell you everything.”
And I can’t tell you everything, I think, even as guilt swells in my stomach.
I am an asshole of a person. I really am. Just as bad as Cohen.Worse.
My fingers curl around his wrists and hold him where he is. “I’m not mad. I have no right to be.”
I probably shouldn’t have told him that. His pretty dark blue eyes run over my face, and I know he can tell I’m keeping something from him, too. He can probably see the guilt written all over my face. “What aren’t you telling us, love?”
My eyes sting. They want to cry, but I blink and look away from him. “Nothing. There’s nothing I can tell you.” That’s not even a lie. Cohen took the ability away from me.
“Rosalind,” he starts, but cuts off when the doorbell rings.
Chapter 5
The string of curses that falls from Hardin’s lips is long and impressive. He drops his hands from my face, presses a hard and fast kiss to my lips. “Stay here.” It’s an order, not a request, but it’s one I’m going to ignore.
I know who is at the door and he won’t hurt me.
