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Cohen tilts his head in my direction. “If it concerns her, it concerns me. That’s how relationships work, Harris. When you care about someone, when youlovethem, everything about them is important.Everythingmatters.”
My mouth goes dry and I’m having a hard time swallowing because I’m not sure if Cohen just admitted to loving me without really saying it, but- no. No, I shake my head. That’s not what he’s saying. He’s just making a point about caring for someone.
He cares about how this conversation goes, because he cares about me. He’s proven it repeatedly. But I think I need to have this conversation without him present. Without Kohaku present either.
I slide my hand onto Cohen’s thigh and give a gentle squeeze, drawing his attention to me. “Would you mind?” I don’t have to finish the whole question. He knows what I’m asking and lets out a frustrated sigh. But then he nods.
“Sure, wildcard. Whatever you need.” Then he leans over and presses a relatively chaste kiss to my temple, before sliding his lips to my ear to murmur, “don’t let them off the hook easily, Rosalind. You deserve better than that.”
I nod once to show him I understand and he rewards me with a lingering kiss on the shell of my ear, before pulling back, grabbing his plate of food and striding away. “Come on, Kohaku, let’s let them talk in private.”
My kitsune gives them one long lingering look, a warning clear in his expression that even I can see without his orange eyes on me. His big hand comes to a rest on my shoulder and squeezes gently before he follows Cohen out of the room.
I lean back in my chair and cross my arms over my chest, arching a brow and waiting.
Gideon is the one that starts. “I know this won’t help, Ro,” he says quietly. “But this is what being an heir to an elder means. We have to think about the complete picture, about everyone, about the result of our actions. How many people will get hurt if we do something?”
“The results of your actions.” I nod. “So you decided that my life, which was very much in danger, is worth thepossibilityof others being hurt. You considered that you not coming would hurt me, would make me feel that you don’t care enough, and you decided that this outcome, this conversation we’re having now, was worth it. I get it. But you can’t expect me to be okay with that. With my boyfriends leaving me to suffer.” I motion at my face, knowing it looks awful. “While you were protecting your murderous coven, I was drugged, cut off from my power, tied to a chair, and beaten.”
Hardin’s fists clench on the table. “We were working on a solution, love, on getting you out safely without compromising our identities.”
I shake my head. “This isn’t getting us anywhere. It’s not going to get us anywhere. You’re all so damn stubborn-”
“You’re one to talk, Ro.”
I keep going like Ezra hadn’t interrupted. “That you’ll never admit you made a mistake.”
“This wasn’t a mistake,” Fielder says, his voice cold. I blink at him, forcing my pain down, down, down, like I have so many times before with this boy. At some point, I’m going to have to ask myself if all this pain is worth it.
Who am I kidding? I already know it’s not. But I’m a masochist apparently, that loves that ache because I just keep letting them do this.
I nod slowly. “Right. I forgot. Not a mistake. You very intentionally left me in the hands of murderous assholes.”
“We were following our protocols for when a witch is captured, Sweeney. If Desi were kidnapped and held at gunpoint would you rush in to try to save her, or would you let the authorities do their jobs?”Oh, damn.That’s a really good point. I wish it wasn’t such a goddamn good point, because I want to hang on to my anger. “Did we want to come after you? Of course we did, but we have rules in place for what needs to happen for a reason. We can’t-”
He cuts off like whatever he was going to say he knows isn’t going to be welcome to my ears. I already know where he was going with it, though, and my anger is back in full force. “You can’t risk your high-class selves for a piece of gutter slut trash like me, right?”
They all flinch.
“Rosalind,” Gideon snaps my name like that will make my words unsaid, or make then untrue.
“What I really don’t understand,” I say, toying with my fork. “Is why you even bothered to bring me back to Septem Stellae? Why you pushed and pushed and pushed until I forgave you? Why you made me have feelings for you? Was it just so that it would hurt more when you did something like this? You could have just left me alone. I would never have known what I am, never learned any sort of magic, never have been caught by witch hunters.”
Ezra shifts. “You know our coven was coming after you, anyway. Even with you gone from Septem Stellae, they were coming after you.”
I nod. “Right. And you’ll try to protect me from your coven, but not from witch hunters.”
Fielder’s hand slams down on the table, making me jump. “What do you want from us, Rosalind? We have obligations that we can’t just let go of because your feelings are hurt.”
“Oh, yes, I’m angry at you because just my feelings got hurt.” I stand up.
“We’re not done,” Fielder’s tone is harsh.
I don’t acknowledge him, instead I wince as I yank my sweatshirt up and over my head, revealing the ugly deep purple mottling on my stomach and ribs. I throw the fabric at him as viciously as I can, which since its fabric isn’t all that viciously. “Yes, I’m definitely over reacting because my feelings are fucking hurt.”
Ezra is up and out of his chair in a blink, standing in front of me with his hands hovering over my bruising, like he’s afraid to touch me. It’s a good thing too, because if he had touched me, I’d likely have punched him.
I look up at him, and all I see is regret in his eyes. “I was scared,” I whisper. “So fucking scared that I was going to die. That I was going to be weak and tell them something that would lead them to you. I let him hit me repeatedly.” I drop my gaze, stare pointedly at the maroon fabric of his t-shirt stretched over his chest. “And you couldn’t even be at the fucking portal. You weren’t even outside the house! How is that supposed to make me feel except for hurt? Except for angry?”
